Hurts and Healings
by Fawkes' Feather
Summary: Yama has a secret that no one can know and Tai is determined to find out. What will he think of Yama after he does?
1. Prologue

           A/N: Okay, this is my first Digimon fiction so don't hurt me. I was browsing through the anime category and was reading some fictions and got an idea of my own. I don't pretend to LOVE Digimon but I liked it… though I thought that the first season was the best (of course, the theme song was kind of… shall we say, weird… --) I do not know where they live (is it Odaiba) and I really only know the basic basics… in fact, I dunno why I'm even writing this but I'm on a roll now and let's just see where this takes me. For those of you who know Digimon like the backs of their own hands, please don't kill me or flame me or whatever if I say something that's not correct…

           Disclaimer: DON'T OWN DIGIMON! And this story contains yaoi… if you disapprove or whatever, leave now.

I watched mournfully as my best friend, Taichi Yagami, happily played soccer with his girlfriend.

           "He-ey! No fair. You pulled my shirt that last goal!" Taichi shouted in between laughter and gasps for air. "Doesn't count and I get a penal- mmph." His words were cut off as Sora placed her lips on his, muffling his last words. Taichi sighed, and the expression on his face relaxed into a blissful smile as he kissed his girlfriend. I bit my lower lip as I watched the two, standing in the middle of the soccer field, making out. Anger, hurt, and disappointment welled up inside of me until I could barely keep the truth from bursting out.

           "I love you." I whispered tearfully, before I turned and walked away.

           My stomach clenched when Sora kissed me. I always felt uncomfortable when kissing her, though I didn't really know why. I mean, she was hot and I had been going out with her for two years already but it always seemed as if something was missing. Something always felt out of place but I could never really place my finger on the problem. I kissed her back quite aware that my best friend was watching and that there was probably a goofy smile on my face, one that I always used for show. When we came up for air, I looked around for a sign of my blonde-headed friend. The sidelines were empty. That was strange. Yama had been there just a minute ago. I shrugged. Oh well, he probably had to go home. Or maybe he had band practice, I could never remember when he practiced with his band.

           "Hey, Tai! Come on, you're one behind, gotta catch up!" Sora called flirtatiously to me as she ran down the field, dribbling the ball.

           "Coming, and you better watch out!" I yelled back and raced after her, all thought about Yamato flying away but a strange, uneasy feeling stayed in the pit of my stomach.


	2. Yamato

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: This chapter contains somewhat graphic rape. If that sort of thing makes you feel queasy, please leave immediately.

"About time you got home, worthless piece of junk!" My father slurred drunkenly when I opened the door. "Get me another beer." I sighed and opened the fridge, which was stocked with beer cans. I grabbed one, popped the tab, and handed it to my father who was watching t.v. in the den. Then, I pulled ingredients out of the fridge and the cabinets and fixed him a meal, a big one. He always ate like a pig. It seemed like the only way he drowned his pain. Well, that and getting wasted every night.

He wasn't always like this. I remember times when he used to be someone I looked up to, someone I wanted to become. When I was a child and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always replied, "I want to be just like my daddy!" and they would always pinch my cheeks and coo about what a sweet little boy I was. Now all I wanted to do was survive each night. All I wanted to do was stay out of his way. I don't remember exactly when the abuse started. But I know it happened around the time he was fired from his job.

_Flashback_

_I walked through the door to find him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He looked and sounded as if he was crying._

_"Dad, what's wrong? What happened?" I walked over, dropping my bookbag on the floor. He lifted his head. His eyes were bloodshot; he'd been crying for some time._

_"I was fired from my job." He rasped and picked up a beer can from the table in front of him. He gulped it down, burped, then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. I was shocked; he never acted like this. He was always calm and collected and he never wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Then I realized he was drunk. "Well, don't just stand there. Get me another beer!" he stood and advanced on me with clenched fists. "I worked my ass off for you and you can't even help me get a beer?!" He backed me up against the wall and rained punches down on me. I shielded my face with my hands, pleading with him to stop. When he finally did, he hugged me, crying again. "I'm sorry, Yamato. I'm so sorry." And that was that. The next day was the same. I would come home from school to find that he was drunk and mean as hell. Then came the day when he dragged me to my room…_

_"Dad?__ Dad, what's going on?" I asked as he shoved me on the bed. My head hit the wall but I didn't make a sound. I'd learned already that he didn't like me showing any signs of pain when he was beating me. He never answered me but his next action was enough to tell me: he leaned down and kissed me. "What the-" I yelped, twisting my head away from him. He'd had more than usual that night, I suppose. He grabbed my head and forced me to stay still. I tried hitting him but his body was on top of mine, obstructing any movement._

_"Shut up, faggot." He slurred and moved his hands up my shirt. He pinned my arms to my sides with his legs, straddling me, and took of his shirt. I could see the beginnings of a beer belly. When he moved to take off his pants, I wriggled my arms out and punched him. I fought with him until he decided that it was too much trouble and left the room. I lay on my bed with my heart pounding, not knowing what the hell was going on. But I felt the beginnings of relief because he'd left me alone. But he came back, this time with string…_

_           When he finally left me alone, I rolled onto my stomach, buried my face into my pillow and cried myself to sleep. That night, at the time, was the worst night of my life. Little did I know that life would be getting a whole lot worse and I would be experiencing that kind of excruciating pain and humiliation almost every night for the next few years… _

_           End flashback_

After he had finished eating, dad grabbed another beer and meandered to the den again and plopped himself down, expecting me to clean up after him. Once the kitchen was clean, I headed to his room and shut the door softly behind me; I never knew what noise would set my father off and send him after me. I threw myself on the bed my stomach grumbling loudly (I hadn't eaten for a while and there was no chance of getting any food in the house) and lay there, breathing in the clean, detergent smell of my bedsheets. After a while, I reluctantly pushed myself up and got started on the massive pile of homework my teachers had assigned; I hate homework. I was only halfway done when a loud bang startled me. I looked up and my heart dropped when I saw my father standing in the doorway, bloodshot eyes watching me lustfully. It was only then that I realized I was stretched across my bed on my stomach, a position he thought was 'exciting.'

           "No." I mumbled fearfully to myself. It didn't matter what I said; father never took no for an answer. I was dragged from my room, down a few stairs into one that was dark and musty, one that I had nicknamed 'the Torture Chamber.' "No, please." I begged, knowing what was coming next, forcing my muscles to relax so I would be a dead weight in his arms, maybe he would get tired and forget about doing anything today.

           "Shut up." My father growled, backhanding me on the face. He handcuffed me to the headboard and climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, smiling wickedly.

           "No, please." I whispered it over and over. "No, please." It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. I was stripped of my clothing, of the few protective layers separating me from the bastard who called himself my father. He took off his clothes and sat on top of me, chuckling. He loved seeing me in pain. I glared at him and struggled, but it did no good. The handcuffs held fast and his weight was too heavy on my legs for me to do anything about it. He leaned down and I felt him on me. He kissed me, deeply and I turned my head but he forced me to look at him.

           "You like this, faggot." He whispered into my ear, nibbling it. I hated him, hated the sound of his voice, the feel of his body against mine, hated everything about him. But my hatred couldn't stop what he was about to do to me. I closed my eyes tight to stop the tears from streaming out as he pushed himself into me. It hurt so much, each time worse than before. The bastard thrust himself into me over and over, ramming my head against the headboard, hurting me. With one loud moan, he came and pulled himself out, grinning drunkenly. He pressed his lips to mine, his post-rape ritual. I was shaking so hard the bed was rattling against the wall. "You like this." He said again and I spat at him, knowing full well the trouble that action would get me into.

           "I hate you!" I snapped and something in his face tightened. The self-satisfied smile slid from his face and was replaced with a look of disgust and anger. He sat up and punched me. Pain exploded in my head and I saw stars. My vision went blurry and I knew I had gone too far. I knew that any word out of me when he was this drunk was enough to send him into a drunken rage. I hated him.

           "Hate me? I feed you, clothe you, give you a roof over your head, you ungrateful maggot. Without me you would be on the streets wearing rags and eating out of dustbins." He punched me again. "I. Am. The. Only. Reason. You. Go. To. That. School. Of. Yours." With each word, he punched me again and again. By now, he was tired and out of breath, so he climbed off and dressed unsteadily. "You can just stay there and rot, for all I care." He turned off the light and walked out, closing the door behind him. I could hear it click; he locked it from the outside, so even if I found a way out of the handcuffs, I wouldn't be able to escape out the door. There was a window but he had installed bars in it; he'd installed bars on all the windows. I lay on the bed, bleeding and sore, my wrists aching, and cried myself to sleep. I was trapped and there was nothing I could do about it.

           A/N: I was feeling a bit… angsty when I wrote this. Sorry if anyone who has read this is traumatized… I did warn you. Reviews are always welcome.

           Redvind: hee hee. Don't worry, is all I have to say… ;D


	3. Taichi

Disclaimer: i don't own anything and i am not making any money off of this story.

"Tai? Tai, what's wrong?" Sora placed a hand on my shoulder, watching me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"Huh? Oh, I- I'm f-fine." I replied distractedly, waving a hand dismissively in her direction. I was watching Yama, who was sitting a little ways away, on a bench all by himself, his back turned to us. We were outside, during break, in the gardens behind the school and, though it was a warm day, he was wearing a ribbed turtleneck sweater, a scarf that covered half his face, and long, dark blue jeans. He hated wearing clothes that made him hot and uncomfortable, even during the winter. He said he didn't like taking off all the layers once he was hot and then having to put them back on because he was cold. I thought it was stupid but hey, who am I to say what he should wear or not? I understood him like no one else and he trusted me enough to show his true emotions but lately, he'd been freezing even me out. I didn't know why but I figured it was just one of those 'Yama moments,' as I'd come to call them. Whenever he was going through a particularly tough time, he would hide behind a mask of indifference. Usually, it meant that he just needed some time to think and sort out his thoughts and almost always, once he'd done that, he would go talk to me. But lately, something had been bothering him and he was even more depressed than usual, even for him.

"Oh come on, Taichi." Sora hummed seductively into my ear, reaching over my shoulders to rub my chest. I had forgotten about her and she had interrupted my thoughts. "I'm lonely. Make me feel better." Even without looking at her, I heard the honey sweetness and knew she had a coy pout on her lips. I stifled a sigh; sometimes, she really knew how to get on my nerves. And it wasn't like I could even talk to her about those sorts of things, either. The last time that I had tried to tell her about my concerns for Yama, she'd brushed them away like they were buzzing flies. For some reason, ever since we had become a couple, she hated it that I spent time with Yama, complaining that I never took time for her. So, I hoisted a smile on my face and hid the concern that I knew was evident in my eyes before turning back to her. "There you are. I was beginning to get- worried." With every word, she got a little closer and her voice dropped a little lower. At the end of her last sentence, our foreheads were touching and she was sitting in my lap, her legs wrapped around my waist. "Mmm." She brushed her soft lips against mine and I responded reluctantly but in her eagerness, she didn't notice. She was like a puppy-dog, all sweet affection, never noticing when that affection wasn't wanted. We kissed a bit but I heard footsteps walking away from where we were and broke the kiss to look. It was Yama and he was walking away, no, _hobbling_ away. I had never known him to show any sign of weakness ever before and somehow, watching him limping and walking like a feeble old man made my heart drop. Something was wrong, more wrong than I had previously thought. What had happened to him? Then I felt a hand on my chin and it turned my head back and lips attacked mine. I was in no mood for this at the moment.

"Sora, I have to go. There's something I need to do." I stood, forgetting that she was practically on top of me and she slid to the bench with an unceremonious thud. "Sorry." And then I took off after the blonde boy. He walked through the halls, slowly, ignoring all the girls who sidled up to him and sighed and giggled and flirted. He shook them off without a word and entered the boy's restroom, much to their dismay. I'm sure they would have followed him in but a teacher walked by just then and they were forced to disband. I followed him in just as one of the stall doors clicked shut. I saw his pants fall to the floor and then a hiss of pain, but it was the sound of something hitting water that made me feel sick to the stomach. In retrospect, that nausea was a bit foolish because we were, after all, in a restroom. He could have just been peeing. At the time, it was more a gut feeling, than anything else, like my subconscious was trying to warn me that something was terribly wrong.

"Dammit." I heard him curse quietly to himself. "It's worse." Another hiss of pain. And was that a whimper?

"Yama?" I asked tentatively. He gasped. "Yama, are you okay?" I edged toward the stall. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, Taichi." I was surprised at the venom in his voice. "Just leave me alone, ok?" He was impatient, like how he always sounded before he punched me in the face, but underneath that, there was something else. Pain? Sadness? I couldn't tell but it was something I had never heard in his voice before. Red alarms were going off in my head. I had heard enough to know that he was lying. But why was he shutting me out?

"You're not fine and I'm not going to get off your back until you tell me." He wanted to be stubborn? Well, two could play at that game. He was quiet and so was I; the only sound heard was his heavy breathing and I knew he was angry. "I'm your best friend, Yama. Can't you trust me?"

"N-nno. I can't. Not w-with this." I stalked from the room and slammed the door behind me. I was hurt and angry that he couldn't trust me but the weariness and pain in his voice stayed those feelings. Something was going on with Yamato Ishida and as I walked to my next class, I vowed that I wasn't going to stop until I found out or he broke down and told me. He could be as stubborn as he wanted but I was just as stubborn and persistent to boot. He wanted stubbornness and persistence on my part, then he got it.

A/N: Not my best chapter but if i don't post it now, it's just gonna drive me crazy so there you go. please review!


	4. Yamato

Disclaimer: not mine

It hurt me physically and emotionally to hear the hurt and disappointment in Taichi's voice. It hurt me physically and emotionally to hear him sigh and walk out of the bathroom when I refused to come out. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; it was that I didn't trust what my dad would do if he found out that someone knew. He would probably go after Taichi and I wasn't going to let my best friend in the world get hurt just because I whined to him about my problems. I was protecting Tai. But I knew that he was as stubborn as a donkey and that no matter what precautions I took to hide my situation from him, he would find out one way or another. I wanted to tell him, wanted to unload every single thing that happened to me. I needed it so badly. Every step I took was agony. I tried walking as normally as possible but that was impossible. I tried to ignore the pain but it was the worst yet. My father had been in a particularly bad mood. I knew Tai was only trying to help but by doing so, he was getting himself into a situation that I rather he didn't have to live with. I didn't want to burden him with my troubles. It was his carefree, optimistic, happy-go-lucky attitude that helped me through many days when I had been so tempted to end it all. A beautiful smile graced his lips and I'd be damned if I was the reason that it disappeared from his face. When he frowned or looked even the slightest bit upset, it was as if someone was tearing into my heart. I needed him to be happy for my sake. Just watching him laughing was enough to make me think that maybe life could be worth living if I could just hear him laugh once more. The time I spent with him was time in paradise and I treasured every moment of it in my heart. He was the only reason I hadn't killed myself yet.

Once he left, I stood, flinching. I had longed for Tai so long. I had loved him since I became his best friend. I had hid those feelings from him no matter how much self-control it took. When he told me, nearly dancing with joy, that he and Sora were a couple, my heart sank. What little hope I had left that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about me as I felt for him, died that day. But I couldn't let go of my love. I couldn't stop loving him. It tore at me inside when I saw the two of them holding hands or kissing or whispering into each other's ears. I never said a word. I pretended to be disgusted by it as a person would be disgusted at seeing his brother make out with a girl. I hid under the pretense that I loved him like a brother when in reality, I loved him so much more. I longed for him so greatly when I was around him, my whole body strained to touch his flawless skin and ached to feel his lips. So far, I had succeeded in hiding what I truly felt but I knew that it was only a matter of time before I slipped and everything came tumbling out.

"He-ey, YaMAtoo!" A chirpy, annoying voice popped up. I cringed. My headache was massive and any noise, be it loud or soft, any noise at all, only caused my head to throb and the temple above my right eye to be filled with a dull pounding and the feeling was similar to that of a jackhammer drilling itself into my skull. "I was looking for you! Where'd you, like, go?" I forced myself to turn and groaned inwardly. She followed me like a lost puppy-dog and knew everything about me. It got to the point where she was basically stalking me and every time she talked to me, she asked me out. Could the girl not take a hint? "So," she fidgeted with her black pigtails when I didn't answer, "you wanna go catch a movie tomorrow?" I was too tired to hide my irritation and exploded.

"NO. NO, I do NOT want to go the damn movies with you. I'm sorry but I have rejected you five million times and counting. Can you not take a hint? I do not like you and I never will. Leave me alone!" I found myself shouting into the shocked face of a girl with brown eyes and black hair.

"But you always seemed so interested when I talked to you before. Did I do something wrong?" I stifled a shriek and before I started shouting again, I shuffled away towards my next class, leaving her to stand where she was, watching me wistfully. Sometimes I really hated the human race. At the rate I was walking, I would get there next week. Not that I didn't mind.

Inside class, I rested my throbbing head against my arms and allowed my mind to wander towards a certain bushy-haired, chocolate-eyed someone who was my best friend. I remembered times with him where we talked about everything, everything except for the simple fact that my father abused me and that he was the object of my affections. I allowed myself to dwell on the time when my dad was a hard-working man who didn't drink except for the beer every so often, when I was happy and we were just young boys, naïve in the ways of the world but having so much fun growing up. I smiled softly to myself when I recalled the days in the DigiWorld where we had fought like cats and dogs. While I hated it when he was upset, I had fun watching him when he was frustrated. His face turned red, as if he was holding his breath, his eyes flashed and bulged and his hair seemed to get even bigger, if that was possible. It was when he clenched his hands into fists that you had to get out of the way.

"Mr. Ishida, care to join us in this discussion?" the scratchy voice of my teacher reached my ears and my head jerked up. I immediately regretted the action. The pounding only increased and I put a hand up to my forehead. Suddenly, her whole countenance changed; her face went pale and, in a slightly panicked tone, said, "Yamato, go to the nurse. Taichi, bring his books, please." I stood and Taichi rushed to my side, gathering my things as I walked numbly out the door. I beyond caring about anything at the moment and shrugged. They could send me home but there was no way they could make me go. I'd walk to the park and spend the rest of the day there. I wasn't spending any extra time with that bastard than I had to and if I had a choice, wouldn't go home at all.

"Yama?" Tai's voice was soft and the only noise that didn't hurt my ears. I think he said something else but I wasn't sure. All I could hear was a buzzing in my ears. Why was the world was spinning underneath my feet? My head felt like it was going to burst; the pain was almost unbearable. Then the ground rushed up to meet me and everything went black.

A/N: i don't know about this chapter. i wrote it this morning at about 3 a.m. couldn't sleep, what can i say? i think i was just rambling but poor Yama, eh? reviews are what keeps me going and i'm probably gonna post really frequently cuz i've got a basic idea of what's going to happen. hope you like!


	5. Taichi

Disclaimer: not mine. Not making money.

"Yama?" I asked, keeping my voice soft because apparently, he had a headache. A massive one, if I knew my best friend as well as I thought I did. Our teacher had turned pale when he reached up toward his head. His sleeve had dropped and exposed an inch of mottled purple and yellow bruises, cuts that were either scabbed or still oozing. No wonder he had chosen to wear red today; it wouldn't show the blood. She sent him to the nurse's office and gave me the task of carrying his stuff. We had walked outside when I heard him groan and looked at him in time to his eyes roll back before he collapsed. I dropped the books and caught him before he hit the ground. He cracked open an eye after a few minutes of my frenzied whispering.

"Tai? Tai, I- I feel so- so bad. I-I- my head hurt so badly." He whispered, clinging to me. I could feel him shaking.

"Shh. It'll be ok. You just need a good night's rest. Then your headache will go away." I stroked his hair, the golden, sunshine silk that all the girls fell for. He held on even tighter and his shaking increased; only now he was whimpering. Good Lord, my best friend, the ice-cold Yamato Ishida was _whimpering._ "It's going to be ok. Shhhh." I rested my cheek against the top of his head. "You'll be ok." What was going on? I didn't ask for fear that it would only upset him further and said nothing. After a few minutes, I decided that he had calmed down sufficiently enough that I could get him home so I helped him up. "Come on, let's get you home." At the last word, he let out a cry of fear and his beautiful sapphire eyes glazed with fear. "Hey, what's the matter? You have to get home."

"No." The word was quiet and wavering but firm. "No. Please Tai, don't make me go there. Please." He stared up at me with veiled eyes barely covering the underlying fear that was in them.

"You have to get home. You can't stay here." I protested, laying a hand on his head. He was burning up. "You're sick. You can't-"

"No. Please, don't take me there." He pleaded, tears splashing down his face. "I can't go home." His voice was getting progressively lower and more child-like. "Please?" Now he sounded like a lost, little boy. I hated seeing him like this. He had been so vulnerable around me so few times that right now, I was at a loss for what to do. No matter how upset he was, he refused to cry. He would blink and blink a million times to keep in the tears, never letting one grace his features. This was the first time I had ever seen him openly crying and it was scaring me.

"Ok, then. Come on, you can stay at my house for the time being." He relaxed with a sigh of relief. "But first, I have to go see the principal about an excuse to get out of school to help you there because obviously, there is no way you are going to be able to get there without help." As I rambled, I gathered the textbooks I had dropped and stuffed them into his bag. I swung it over my right shoulder so it rested at my left hip and swung my own bookbag over the other shoulder to rest at my other hip. Then I hoisted my friend up. He gripped my neck with one arm and with the other, reached over and grabbed the shoulder closest to him. We walked out, or rather, I walked and half-dragged, half-carried Yama to the principal's office where she promised to inform our teachers that we had gone home.

It took us the rest of the day to get home. It was hot and Yama was just a dead weight in my arms. He had passed out right after we left the school and I was carrying him plus everything else we lugged to school. One of my arms was supporting his upper back while the other was holding up his knees. His head rested against my chest and his soft hair tickled my chin. By the time I got home, school was already out and Kari was sitting in the kitchen when I kicked the door as both my arms were occupied carrying him. She opened it and I walked in, careful not to bang his head against the door frame, without so much as a hello. I was too tired and too thirsty to say anything and ignored her completely. I managed to make it to my room where I gently set him on the bed and covered him with a light blanket. He immediately curled up on one side, one arm snaking under the pillow, the other over the pillow and clutched tightly to it. He sighed almost inaudibly and I was reminded forcibly of the sounds babies make when they were pleased. Indeed, he looked so innocent when he was sleeping, like all the years of trials and sadness that life had thrown at him, all the 'growing up' had melted away, leaving the happy child he once was. Smiling, I closed the blinds, turned off the lights and softly, so as not to wake him, closed the door behind me as I entered the hallway. Kari was in the kitchen, eating an apple and she looked up at me, chewing thoughtfully.

"I don't know so don't even bother asking." I said gruffly, before she even opened her mouth. "He doesn't want to go home."

"Why'd you carry him here?" her voice was quiet and when I met her gaze, she was watching me with a kind of innocently curious expression.

"He passed out when we were coming home." I shrugged, grabbing an apple for myself and taking a bite out of it. "Kari, there's something wrong with him but he won't tell me. I'm getting worried." She cocked her head and looked at me, thinking. "I don't know what to do. He won't tell me anything which makes me think- ugh, I dunno what to think. You know, sometimes it's really hard having a friend who's learned how to hide everything. You know he needs help but because he never tells you anything, you don't know how to help." I buried my face in my hands and groaned in frustration. _I wish I could help. _She placed a placating hand on my shoulder. She had a habit of doing that when someone was upset and the simple gesture comforted me; I didn't like it when people tried to tell me that everything would be okay when it wasn't what I needed or wanted to hear and Kari understood that. She wanted to say something but was hesitating, I could tell. She took a deep breath and began,

"Tai-" Just then, a chilling scream rent through the apartment. Both our gazes snapped towards my room, my blood went cold and only one thought went through my head: Yama.

A/N: I don't really have much to say here. Thanks to those of you who have reviewed. I've changed my settings so I can now receive anonymous reviews. :D

HIKED: thanks for telling me! I never would have noticed … -


	6. Yama & Tai

Disclaimer: no money is coming from this. Digimon does not belong to me.

Note: the italicized part below is a dream sequence. Normally, the italics are thoughts… and seeing how a dream is a kind of thought… well, you see where i'm going with this... okay, on with the story!

Yama's POV:

_I was being dragged into a dungeon. My whole body was in pain. 'So this is hell.' I thought to myself. Suddenly, my limbs were jarred; I had been dropped, facedown, on a hard, stone floor. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move, I couldn't get up off the floor; I was too weak, too hurt. A man walked in, I could tell by the heavy footsteps, and with his foot, kicked me onto my back. He looked down on me with contempt and disgust evident on his face but there was a bit of malicious glee too. He crouched down so that his face was an inch from mine._

_ "You. Are. Going. To. Wish. You. Had. Never. Been. Born." He whispered slowly, enunciating to get his point across. My stomach rolled; his breath was rancid and I was almost glad I'd had nothing to eat. He grabbed me painfully by my hair and pulled me to my feet. "Look. Look what you did." He forced my gaze up and my eyes watered at the sight. In front of me was Tai. He was hanging by his wrists from iron chains pegged to the stone wall. He was tall but his toes barely touched the floor; all his weight was suspended on his arms. He was thin, so thin, as if he'd gone a longer time than me without eating. I could see his ribs sticking out; he looked like nothing more than a pile of skin and bones. But he was still so beautiful. He was still so perfect._

_ "Tai?" I asked, disbelieving. Hearing his name, he looked up and I shrank away from the sight of his bruised face. Every inch of his perfect skin was covered with bruises and fresh or infected gashes. He shivered from the cold; the clothes hanging on his thin frame were ragged and torn, unfit for anything but barely covering the essentials. "No." I covered my eyes, shaking my head. "No, Tai. What happened to you?" He glared at me with hateful eyes. The once-warm chocolate brown eyes were icy and hard. _

_ "You betrayed me, Yamato." I flinched at the use of my real name and the loathing in his voice; he never used my real name. "I'm going to die and it's all your fault. You caused all my pain and suffering. I HATE YOU!" My heart jumped to my throat. He hated me. He hated me. I was nothing more than a despicable creature standing in front of him. My knees shook and I nearly fell. The man holding me up was laughing spitefully beside me. I could barely speak around the lump that had formed in my throat and I had to swallow hard to get my voice to become more than a whisper._

_ "No. Please, Tai, I didn't mean to. I would never hurt you. I didn't do any-" My words were cut off by a scream and—Tai was dead, his lifeless body hanging limp before my eyes. I was in shock. Dead. "Tai." Before I could say anything else, greedy hands pushed me to the floor, which turned into a hard bed with handcuffs attached to the headboard and the dungeon changed into a musty room with no lights and a window with bars. Suddenly, my hands were bound, I couldn't move, where had all my clothes gone? What was-? And pain was all that I knew. Grunting, panting, a voice whispering horrible things in my ear as he roughly pushed in and out of me. I could smell beer and the breath of someone who hadn't brushed his teeth in a long time. He leered at me. Hands touching me where no hands should be permitted. "NOOO!" I screamed, unable to move but thrashing as wildly as I was able. "NOOO! Tai! Help! Leave me alone! Get off! NOOOOO!" I was lost in my agony and I was going to die…_

"Yama!" Tai's voice cut in urgently, "Yama, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up." Soft hands grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently. My eyes popped open and I stared into his face but I refused to let my hopes up. _Tai was dead._ But I could feel his hands on my shoulders; see his chest heaving, what if this was all an illusion? I reached up and touched his face, his perfect nose, those sculpted lips through which the warm breath of life was passing through.

"Tai," I breathed, sure now that it was him. "Oh Taichi, I'm so sorry! Don't hate me. I didn't mean to. I-I," from then on my words were incoherent. I had dissolved into gut-wrenching sobs. It had seemed so real. It was every one of my fears rolled together and I knew that if I slept again, it would come back. If it wasn't my father, it was the nightmares.

"Hey, shhh. It's ok. It was just a nightmare." His voice was soft and he pulled me into a hug. He rubbed my back and my head with a circular motion, trying to calm me down. I clutched him fiercely, with all of my might, unwilling to let go of him. "Don't worry. Everything'll be okay." He murmured into my hair. I rested my cheek against his chest, my head was in the little space between his chin and chest. I was calming down just breathing in his scent and feeling the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. The rubbing he was doing was soothing and I could feel every one of my muscles relax. Pretty soon, my eyes closed of their own accord and, even though I fought desperately to relish the fact that I was being held by the love of my life, I fell asleep and this time, my slumber was unpunctuated with the nightmares that always seemed to be present. For the first time in a long time, I slept without any fear of nightmares or groping hands. For the first time in a long time, I was able to sleep feeling safe and warm and happy.

Tai's POV:

I held him to me in an attempt that maybe if he realized that I wouldn't hurt him, he would calm down. He kept babbling about how sorry he was, how he didn't want me to hate him and I was puzzled. Why was he dreaming about me? Then he started crying so hard his shoulders knocked against me. I had never heard him cry like this before. It was starting to scare me. But I shook away the fear and apprehension and tried my best to soothe him. I told him he would be okay, that he was safe, it was just a dream. I even added a back rub; my mother used to do that to me when I was little and had just had a bad dream, it helped a lot. Eventually, he calmed down, though he still clung to me like a baby. Damn, he had an iron grip when he really wanted to. But I breathed in and out, not letting him be aware of my palpitating heart as I hugged him to my chest. I rested my chin on the top of his head and let his hair tickle me. As I held him and rocked him, slightly humming, I felt strangely protective of him. I didn't know what had happened to him to make him act so bizarrely but I knew that whatever it was, it was bad and I hated it. Hated it for making him to be fearful, afraid, and timid. I saw the way he acted around everyone at school; he put up a façade and never allowed anyone near him. Well, except me of course. I had always been there for him and he knew it. He trusted me but I didn't know why he had so much trouble trusting everyone around him. I was going to get to the bottom of this, no matter how ugly or frightening it might be. I was going to do everything in my power to help my best friend. As I vowed this, he shifted slightly and sighed. I looked down and, to my surprise, saw that he had fallen asleep. I smiled. He looked so much like a little boy, like an angel that I couldn't help myself. My arms were still around him, holding him close and his grip on me hadn't relaxed either. This was Yama, my best friend in the whole world, and nothing was going to hurt him, not while I was around.

A/N: I liked the dream sequence. Thanks to those who have reviewed. I find myself oddly propelled to write when you guys do… so keep em coming!


	7. Yamato

Disclaimer: not making money off of this therefore you cannot sue me. haha

I woke up feeling happy, warm, and rested. These were feelings I hadn't felt for a long time, not since my dad became an alcoholic after he was fired from his job. I sighed and stretched, opening my eyes and drank in the sight and smell of Tai's room. Everything was still dark so I guess that it was really early in the morning. Suddenly, I was wide awake. Tai's room! I had stayed in Tai's room overnight? My heart sank and my stomach clenched. I was going to pay with all hell for not going home. I groaned and a snuffling noise behind me got my attention. That was when I felt an arm around my waist and became painfully aware of something warm and soft on my neck. I slowly turned and came face to face with Tai, who was still sleeping with his face pressed up against my neck. I grinned, feeling stupid that I was so ridiculously happy. We had slept over at each others' houses many times so this was nothing new. I turned my body so that I was facing him and watched him sleep. He was so beautiful.

I propped my head up with my hand, my elbow resting on the pillow. Slowly, softly so he wouldn't feel, I ran my fingers over his face and stopped at his mouth, wishing it could be my lips resting on his. He shifted just then, my hand jerked up, and he mumbled something. His brow furrowed and amidst the jumble of indistinguishable words, I heard my name. He was dreaming about me? A bubble of hope blossomed in my chest but I squashed it automatically. I would never be loved by him; he was too good, too perfect. What would he want from someone like me? Feeling hopeless, I took in the sight of his face and the way his long, thick lashes rested, like a butterfly's kiss, on his cheekbones, wishing I could call him my own. I sighed sadly. Deciding to make the best of my current situation, I snuggled closer, closed my eyes and went back to sleep, safe for the first time in a while in his arms; the last thing I saw before I drifted off again was his beautiful face.

The second time I awoke, the sun was streaming in through the curtains. The sound of water striking tile came to my ears and off-key singing made me smile. That was Tai, always the goofball, one of the many qualities I adored about him. The water stopped and I heard the sound of wet feet padding across the floor. The door opened and with a cloud of steam billowing behind him, Tai entered the room, clad only in a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was plastered to his head, for once, it looked normal and tame. I blushed at his half-nakedness but damn, was he hot!

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked and without waiting for my answer, turned his back on me and rummaged through his messy closet. I took advantage of this and admired him as he bent down and dug through the ancient layers of dirty clothes gathering dust on the floor of his closet. "Ah-ha!" he cried triumphantly, pulling out a dark blue tee-shirt and matching plaid boxers. He pulled the boxers on then dropped the towel around his ankles while slipping on the shirt. "You want to take a shower, Yama? Kari doesn't wake up for another thirty minutes." His voice was muffled; he was bent over again, this time looking for a pair of shorts. I shrugged though he couldn't see me.

"Um, I don't usually take a shower in the morning. I'm okay. It's not like I run around in the sun all day and get sweaty and smelly." I dodged the musty pillow Tai threw at me. "But do you have something I could wear? Something that's not been hidden in that closet of yours since the Stone Age?" I added with a smirk.

"Shut it, Yama. You could get something clean in that basket over there." He gestured vaguely towards the door. In front of it was a laundry basket piled high with fresh, clean clothes.

"Why don't you just wear these? I'm sure these ones have no chance of smelling like mothballs." I sifted through it, trying to find something that wasn't thin and wouldn't show off my bruises to the world. I headed to the bathroom with my choices but it was locked.

"Excuse me! Someone's in here already!" Kari's voice screamed over the spray of the water.

"Sorry." I called back.

"You can change in here." Tai offered. "I'm still looking for my pants but it's no biggie, right?" He looked at me from between his legs. As we had always been comfortable changing in front of the other, I didn't want to sound suspicious, so I shrugged nonchalantly, though my heart was thudding uncomfortably in my chest.

"Nah. No problem." I muttered to myself, "yeah, right." I sat on the bed and removed the jeans I wore yesterday, grimacing at the discoloration of the bruises. I hastily pulled on some long khaki pants and buckled it firmly. I threw off the turtleneck and was about to pull a blue and gray striped sweater over my head when Tai looked around. Judging by the gasp that emitted from his mouth, I knew he saw them.

"Yama?" he whispered, "how'd you get those?" I looked down. Huge yellow, green, and purple bruises covered my arms and back. The cuts that I'd received as a result of the beatings was either scabbed or oozing yellowish pus. Everything hurt like hell now that I was aware of every mark on my body. He walked over and closed the door, slamming it shut. "How'd you get those?" He demanded, more firmly than before. I was aware of the ache in my chest and inside my head I screamed. Trying to force calm, I closed my eyes to avoid seeing his brown ones filled with concern and horror.

"I can't tell you." I said, trying to be firm but it came out barely louder than a breath. "I can't. Tai, I'm sorry." I opened my eyes and saw that he looked hurt and confused and disappointed. I was his best friend after all and to not be able to tell him something, to him was like a stab in the chest. "I- I just can't."

"But you have to tell someone. Who did that to you?" Tai's voice was bitingly angry and his fists clenched. "Who did that to you? I'll kill them, I will."

"NO!" I jumped at him and grabbed his wrists, staring into his face. I had to make him understand, he couldn't get himself involved. I had to protect him; he would only get hurt if he knew. "No, you can't know. You can't get involved. Please, don't ask this of me. I couldn't-"

"Yama. Whoever's doing this to you doesn't deserve to walk free. He or she can't get away with this." His voice was quiet now and full of worry for me.

"I'll be okay. It stops hurting after a while." I tried to reassure him. _It stops hurting after a while but by then you have new ones. Face it, you never escape the pain. _A snide little voice in my head spoke up. I suppressed it. "I'll be okay."

"But Yama," he protested, shaking his head, "you're hurting. You know it and I know it. That's why you had a headache yesterday. That's why you passed out. Let me help you. I hate seeing you like this. Where's my friend? The sarcastic bastard who challenged my leadership abilities, where's the fire that used to burn inside of you? You're not the same anymore, Yama. This has changed you and I want to help. I can't stand seeing you hurting like this." He said the last part so quietly I had to strain to hear it. I gulped but gave no answer. The door to the bathroom opened and I hurriedly dropped the sweater over my head, threading my arms through the long sleeves.

"What's going on?" Kari, who was too perceptive for her own good, noticed the tense atmosphere between the two of us. She looked at Tai, then at me but neither of us said anything. "What's wrong? Tai?"

"Nothing, Kari. Nothing's wrong." Tai's voice had a false cheeriness so bright that I knew Kari saw right through it. She pursed her lips but pressed the subject no more. "I'm going to get some breakfast ready. Any requests? Kari? Yama?" Both of us shrugged. Tai could cook and whatever he prepared we knew we would love. Besides, I didn't get nearly enough to eat as it was so I welcomed any food that was edible.

"You make something." Kari said. "We'll love it, whatever it is." He puffed up his chest with pride and walked out the room. "Yama? What's going on?" I wasn't expecting that. Then again, she was never one who wasn't easily distracted.

"Ah, uhm," I stalled, "it's nothing. Like Tai said, it's nothing." I gave her a fake smile and nearly knocked her over as I ran from the room. I didn't need her and Tai to know what was going on at my house. It would ruin my life as well as theirs and there was no way I would ever let that happen; I cared about them too much for them to be hurt because they were trying to help me. I couldn't stand it if they were hurt and it was my fault.

A/N: blarg. The last paragraph wouldn't write! It's really repetitive I think but oh well… I'm too lazy to try and revise it. Let me know what you all think! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! feels all warm and fuzzy inside

Spazz: Keep in mind that yes, Tai is a bit dense… not that he's stupid but he's not exactly perceptive either. He knows something's wrong but doesn't want to make any assumptions as to what is.


	8. Taichi

Disclaimer: the whole song and dance. You know. Not mine… don't sue… blah blah blah

"Yamato's hiding something, Tai." Kari said flatly to me as we walked to school. He had practically swallowed his omelet whole, gulped down the orange juice I had given him and bolted, waving at me and Kari with a smile but behind that I knew he was just running from our questions.

"Oh really? What makes you say that?" I asked, feigning ignorance though I had trouble hiding the sarcasm that crept up. I picked up my pace, partly for the fact that I would be late if I walked too slowly and partly because I was hoping that if I walked fast enough, she would be concentrating too hard on keeping up with me that she couldn't ask me anything.

"Come on Tai. Even you have to see that he refuses to answer any questions. I mean, he had a fit last night. We both heard him. He didn't want to go home. I want to know what is going on and I want to know now." Kari could be as stubborn as me when she wanted to be.

"To tell you the truth, I really don't know myself." I ran a hand through my hair which was just beginning to dry. "He won't tell me anything. Hasn't said anything." I shrugged, nonchalantly. Sensing that I didn't want to discuss the subject any more, she began yammering away about something else. What, I had no idea; I wasn't even trying to listen to her.

Once inside my classroom, I sat down, opened my books and with a feigned look of interest, allowed myself to contemplate what I had discovered.

That morning, I was awakened by my alarm clock and opened my eyes to stare directly into Yama's face. He was so close to me that if I moved slightly in his direction, we would end up kissing. I shuddered at that thought. It would have been embarrassing for both him and me. I was just about to pull away from him when I realized that he looked so relaxed, so happy that I couldn't bear to wake him up. After the events of the previous afternoon, I didn't want to disrupt him or take him away from anything that caused him happiness. So I eased away from him, brushing a lock of his sun-kissed hair from his face, and gently placed his arms, which were wrapped around my waist, on the bed.

Seeing his bruises, I was horrified. A sick feeling bubbled up in my stomach and I suppressed the need to retch. He was watching me, frozen, with a look of terror that I was seeing what I was seeing. I immediately knew that the last thing he wanted was for me to see his skin. He was so urgent in telling me not to get involved, not to try and help him. But it did nothing to dissuade me. Seeing the state his body was in only made me want to help him even more. I hated seeing him like that. He deserved so much better.

Just then, the bell rang and I stood mechanically, put my books into my bag and left the room, not having any idea what my weekend assignments were. I weaved my way through the throngs of students hurrying to class with the idea that I would approach Yama and DEMAND that he tell me what the hell was going on.

"Taichi! Hurry, you'll be late!" Sora's voice cut through my thoughts and for once, I was annoyed to see her. "Come on." She grabbed my wrist and I was reminded of the way Yama had held them when I threatened to go after the people responsible for his suffering. She led me to class and, in a daze, I sat down and proceeded to learn nothing at all. In fact, I didn't listen to a thing my teachers said that whole day, only coming out of my reverie to jot down my homework and that was it. I was too caught up in thoughts about Yama and it was during fourth period where I formulated a plan: I would follow him home and see what happened there. I hadn't been to his house for a while; he stopped inviting me opting instead to go to my apartment. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why; his house was so much bigger and more interesting that my apartment but he always insisted.

At lunch, I picked at the watery mashed potatoes with strange lumps and poked at a mass of grayish-blue rubbery stuff that I thought was supposed to be meat. A rock hard brownie from the Mesozoic Era and a soda (the only edible thing on my tray) completed the school lunch. Thoroughly disgusted like I always was, I opted instead to perfect my plan, going over everything that could have gone wrong and coming up with plans B and C in case plan A fell through.

"Hey Taichi. Sora's getting pissed that you're not paying attention to her." A whining, sing-song voice jabbed at my eardrums. I looked up, gave this person eye contact and looked down again.

"Come on, Taichi! What's up with you? You've been moping around this whole day." Sora whined and I groaned. She was seriously beginning to get on my nerves.

"I'm just tired, is all. I have to go. I'll see you some other time." I picked up my tray and dumped the contents in a trash bin before I left the cafeteria. Running slightly, I managed to escape Sora's clutches and climbed the tree at the very back of the school. It was tall and the trunk was gnarled, causing the school officials to complain that it marred the school's beauty. I liked climbing it; not many people bothered with it so I was sure to be the only one and it was very peaceful with only the wind and the blossoms for company. I leaned my head against the trunk and just stayed there, watching the turquoise-blue sky through little openings in the tree's branches.

After school, I lurked in the hallways until I caught sight of Yama trudging slowly towards the door. He had the look of a man, sentenced for execution, walking towards the electric chair where he would die. I followed at a safe distance, strolling along like I didn't have a care in the world though in reality I was ready to duck behind trash cans or jump into the bushes that lined the streets. I didn't want him seeing me because if he did, he was sure to get angry and chase me away. He plodded up the stairs to the front door and his hands went to the doorknob when it was flung open and he was pulled inside by a pair of big, meaty hands. In the split second before he disappeared into the walls of his house and the door closed behind him, I caught the look on his face. It was one of pure terror.

A/N: It's getting kind of repetitive, I know. Sorry it's not longer. But that's all gonna change soon…


	9. Yamato

Disclaimer: you know. Not mine even if I wanted it.

A/N: this chapter contains moderately graphic rape. If you are squeamish and easily disgusted, please leave now. Thank you for your cooperation.

I got home and my father was waiting for me. He threw open the door and pulled me inside, grinning like a lunatic. I gulped; this was not good. He was never this happy to see me. His eyes were glazed which told me that he was drunk and he slurred his words which told me that not only was he drunk, he was completely and totally pissed. My heart began to beat furiously and I tried desperately to overcome the urge to start crying. I knew what was coming. _No. Please, no. Oh god, please, no. _I begged inside my head.

"I have some friends who'd like to see you, YamaTO." He laughed and dragged me into the Torture Chamber. Sitting on the bed were two of his ex co-workers. They were close and often came, before he was fired, to have drinks or watch television together. I convulsed involuntarily and he punched me in the side. I knew what they were here for. They were leering at me, their dirty eyes roving up and down my body. Was I even a person anymore? I seriously doubted that my father thought so. He regarded me as a THING, a toy, to be used, and then thrown away.

"Wow. You never told us just HOW handsome your son was. I can't wait to get me a piece of that." One of them laughed drunkenly.

"No." I whimpered and he threw me down. "NO!!!" I fought and kicked and scratched but the added combination of what he had done to me two nights ago and the lack of food besides that omelet Tai gave me that morning made me weak. Besides, three grown men could easily overpower a skinny teenage boy. They held me down and tears ran down my cheeks. "NO." I cried, over and over but their hands ripped the clothes off me, they weren't even mine, they were Tai's. How was I going to pay him back? I didn't have money and my dad wouldn't care anyway. I was filled with such hatred that I wanted nothing more than to kill him and his friends, cut their throats and rip out their hearts as they begged me for mercy. I always felt that way before he broke me. I always felt like that and then after he was done with me, I couldn't have killed a fly even if I'd wanted to.

"Shut up." They ordered as their dirty hands roamed and touched me in places I didn't want them to touch, they hit me, beat me when I moved, when I flinched. Time was lost on me; I will never know exactly how long I was in the Torture Chamber that day. Seconds crawled by. Minutes felt like hours. Hours felt like years. I didn't know if I had been there two minutes or five years. I was tired and weak and sick of everything, of life. What did they want from me? Then one climbed on top and I felt his bare skin on mine and I knew what was coming and I tried to prepare myself but the pain was unbearable and I screamed as loudly as I could, the sound ripped through my throat, when he drove into me. There was fire and pain and suffering and how long was this going to last? How long until I died? It felt like hours before he finished, panting and whispering how good I felt, did I like that? I tried to move but my hands were locked and the other two had hold of my feet. It hurt too much. I knew I was bleeding. Please. Leave me alone. Then another man. This one was meaner, stronger, faster, harder. He plunged into me with no mercy, no abandon. I screamed. When would I die? When would God have mercy on me and take me from this agony? Please. Let me die. It hurt so much. It was all that I knew. The others laughed. He finished with a moan and I was shrieking from the pain. Help. When would I die? I screamed and cried, begged for their mercy. They only laughed at me. I was helpless to help myself. When would I die? Please. All I wanted was to be left alone. I just wanted my life to end.

A/N: Gah. I had a hard time writing this chapter. Sorry it's so short but I didn't think it would be too good to go into greater detail. shudders what bastards… anyways, I promise the next chapter will be much longer and a lot less brutal.


	10. Taichi

Disclaimer: digimon does not belong to me!

I was waiting outside, debating whether I should risk looking through the windows when I heard a scream. A loud, terrible scream of torment and agony. Yama. I had heard that scream in my apartment. Abandoning all caution, I raced for the windows but they were barred. I ran around the back of the house, looking for an opening, anything. Hidden by bushes, I found a window, a small window and peered through. What I witnessed made me see red. Yama was tied to a bed, his father and two other men were hurting him. He was crying, screaming in pain and I wanted to help. They hit him, beat him and then they stripped him of his clothes and touched him. I couldn't bear to see anymore. I turned away and threw up in the bushes. That was what he was trying to keep me from. They were hurting him, laughing at his pain. He was bleeding and they only made it worse. I had to help. But how? They were three grown men, probably drunk. But all my good judgement flew out the window when I heard Yama.

"No. Please, don't hurt me. Please." Then he let out another shriek, one worse than before. I had to help. In a rage, I flew at the door but it was locked. I searched in the bushes, under his welcome mat, anywhere I could think of when I finally found it, hidden in a planter hanging from the doorway. I opened the door, careful not to make any noise and followed the sounds of sick laughter. I came to a door that was partially opened; in their eagerness, they had forgotten to close it properly. I threw that one open, they would hear or see me whether or not I was careful. But they were having too much fun to notice me. They finally got tired and dressed before heading upstairs to have a smoke and some beer. I dived behind some boxes as they were passing me but it took all of my self-control because they just left Yama there. He was hurt and bleeding, bruised even more now, fresh ones covering older ones and those handcuffs had to be uncomfortable. When they were gone, I emerged from my hiding spot and crept towards him.

"Tai?" Yama shrunk away from me. I reached over and unlocked the handcuffs. As soon as he was free, he tried to stand but sprawled to the floor, gasping in pain.

"Let me-" I reached for him but he seemed to curl up inside himself.

"No. Leave me alone." He hissed, waving me away from him, and stood, shaking. He swayed and I caught him but he stiffened and twisted away from me, crying. "Noooo," he moaned quietly, "No, you aren't seeing this, you can't know about this." I approached him but he backed away, refusing to meet my eyes. I forced myself to focus only on his face, not the mottled purple skin or the fact that he was naked.

"Yama." At the sound of my voice, he cowered and I cursed those who had hurt him so badly, he cringed when his name was called. "Yama, look at me." He lifted his head and met my gaze for a second before averting his eyes back to the floor. It was painful to see him so broken; his eyes were filled with hurt, betrayal, fear, and anger all battling within him. I backed him into a corner and now he was scrabbling at the wall, much like a cornered animal. "It's okay Yama. I won't hurt you, I promise." I was getting closer and he was pressing himself as close to the wall as humanly possible.

"Promises mean shit," he spat, still trying to get away from me. His eyes were darting around the room, looking for an escape route. "You make promises when you know you won't keep them. You lie to gain my trust and then you violate me. How can you expect me to trust you when you've hurt me so badly?" His words stung and I suppose he had a point but why was he talking to me? I hoped fervently that I hadn't done anything to let him down. I was speechless so I did the only thing I could think of: I pulled him into a hug. He struggled with me, trying to push me away but I held on. He needed help and I wasn't about to let go.

"Shhhh. Yama, listen to me. I would never hurt you. I'm your best friend. I would never hurt you. I would never, ever do anything to hurt you. You have to understand that." I rocked him and finally felt him relax a little. "Come on, you need something to wear." I led him to his room, making sure that the men didn't see us and we stepped inside, closing and locking the door firmly behind us. He collapsed onto his bed, exhausted both emotionally and physically and I pulled his blankets over him feeling that maybe he would be more comfortable covered up, besides the sun was setting and the night air was frigid.

"Tai," he mumbled sleepily, allowing his head to sink into his pillow.

"Hmm?" I looked up from a jumble of already worn clothes.

"Promise- promise me- that- that you won't tell anyone. Please? Don't tell anyone, okay?" He sounded so like a little child begging someone not to tell his parents of his wrongdoings that the corners of my mouth lifted into a small smile. I didn't want to break his trust but this was one thing that could not stay a secret. His dad deserved to be in jail and Yama deserved a better life. But if I told him that I didn't promise, I didn't know what he would do.

"Yama, you know I can't do that." I shook my head. He made a small, frightened noise in his throat. I sat down on the edge of the bed next to him but he turned his back on me, flinching in pain as he did so. "You deserve so much better. You can't keep living life like this. It's not fair to you." I massaged his back as I spoke. "I can't just keep this a secret." I lay down next to him.

"But what if he said it was all my fault? What if I did something to deserve what he did to me? What if they don't believe me?" He turned to face me and embraced my waist in his thin arms. "What if I was bad and that's why he hurt me?" I looked at him watching me with liquid blue eyes. For some odd reason, I didn't even care that he was holding my waist; it just felt right and the thought scared me.

"You can't believe that you deserved that treatment. You, Yamato Ishida, deserve so much better." I held his head in my hands and kissed his forehead. "And no one in their right minds would possibly think you're lying, especially since you have a witness." He broke into a smile, the first real one that I'd seen in a long time and clutched me tighter. It took him a while but pretty soon his breathing was regular and I eased out from his embrace. When I found suitable clothes for him, I waited ten minutes before I gently prodded him with a finger and handed him the clothes. He rolled gingerly off the bed and I bit back a gasp. Where he had lain, there was a pool of blood. He saw it and bit his lip, watching me anxiously for my reaction. I looked at him and there was a trickle of dark red running down the back of his leg. "Does it hurt to move?" My voice cracked and I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure. He nodded and I gulped. How were we going to walk all the way to my home if he was in agony every step of the way? And with those goons still in the house and blocking our only exit, it was beginning to look as if I'd gotten myself into a hopeless situation.

A/N: t.v. announcer voice What will Tai do now? How are they going to get out of the house? Will Yamato's father find them? Find out when you tune in next time on Hurts and Healings! (Reviews are highly welcomed)


	11. Yamato

Disclaimer: not mine…

"Tai, dear old dad and his buddies are getting drunk. If we wait a while, they'll pass out soon enough. We can leave then." I mentally screamed; I sounded like a shy, timid little five year old and that was the last thing either of us needed at the moment.

"Yeah. All we need to do is figure out when they actually do pass out." Tai nervously ran a hand through his bushy hair.

"We can take turns sneaking up to the door. From here, we have a clear view of the living room." I bit my lip and watched him hopefully. His face brightened as he thought about it.

"Good idea. But I'll go. You stay here." He motioned for me to sit. I opted to stay standing. It was silent for a few tense moments when I broke the quiet.

"Um, Tai? You think you could give me those clothes so I can put something on?" He looked down at the bundle of cloth in his hands and laughed sheepishly.

"Here." He tossed them to me and I put them on, trying not to wince from the pain. Thankfully, since I had lost more weight than was healthy, my clothes were baggy and didn't brush up too much against me. I was acutely aware of his eyes watching my every move. I walked toward him and lay down on my stomach on the bed, beside him. He stood and peeked through a crack in the door. "They're all on the floor, their mouths are open and they're drooling all over the carpet." He announced, sighing in relief. He turned to me. "Come on, let's get outta here." We tiptoed out the door and closed it softly behind us. It was late and the only light available was coming from a lamppost down the street. "You think they'll wake up soon? Or do we have some time?"

"No, they've been drinking all afternoon. I'm sure they'll stay like that until tomorrow morning at least." I shrugged. "Hope all of them have killer hangovers."

"Hey," he put a hand on my shoulder and I recoiled instinctively. He looked hurt but I offered no explanation and he didn't push me for one. "how long has this been going on? Does he invite his friends over a lot?" I shook my head.

"Today was a first." I wiped away the tears that collected in my eyes. "I hate him." His hand tightened around my shoulder and I tried not to pull away. The years of cringing in fear when a hand was raised in front of me, tensing when a person got closer, the desire to be away from any physical contact were over but the habits were hard to break. It felt nice to be so close to Tai, though. He was the only person I was ever inclined to trust and he had come through for me in a way I never could have imagined.

"Come on. Let's go." He pulled his hand away and I immediately missed the contact but he grabbed my hand and began walking. We strolled through town, both of us taking frequent glances behind our backs to ensure that no one was following us. I was sore and every inch of me was protesting my movements but it could not be helped so I ignored the pain. I noticed that he kept glancing in my direction, making sure that I was keeping up with the pace he was setting and although it was a bit fast for me, I gritted my teeth and didn't let my pain show. At his apartment building, he led me towards the stairs but hesitated before doubling back and stepping into the elevator. At his door, he fumbled in his pockets for his keys, upturning everything cookie crumbs to money but no keys. I could hear his muttered curses and observed his increasingly frantic search for the house keys. Finally, giving up, he began ringing the doorbell.

"Tai?" Kari opened the door. "Oh, hey there, Yama. You staying here for the night?" She stepped aside to let us in and closed the door. Tai reached over her and turned the heavy-duty locks.

"He's gonna stay here for a while." Tai answered, not looking at her and I gave her a quick smile, not wanting to be rude. We left her standing in the hallway and headed to his room. He flipped the lights on and turned on his computer. I followed him and out of habit, closed the door and turned the lock. "I guess we could just share the bed." He shrugged, smiling at me. "If you're uncomfortable with that, I could steal the cushions from the couch or something."

"Nah, it is fine with me." I stretched out on the bed and lay my head against the pillow. He had a huge bed and it was so soft. I felt like I was floating on clouds. I was so used to a bed with broken springs and a worn out mattress that his bed, which was nothing really special or expensive, was heaven. "Where's your mom?"

"She's probably at work. She doesn't get home until late and by then, we're already sleeping." He flopped on the bed and lay on his side, facing me. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean, you should go to the doctor to make sure they didn't- um- tear anything." Tai cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"No. I'll be fine. It hurts for a while but then it goes away. Eventually. It's more mental than physical." I attempted a smile but my face didn't seem to want to move.

"Okay. But if it doesn't stop hurting in a week, I'm dragging you to the doctor, Yamato. Is that clear?" He sounded stern but his eyes were twinkling. I chucked a pillow at his face. He wouldn't dare.

"Whatever. It'll heal, Tai. Trust me." I closed my eyes sleepily. He was genuinely concerned for me and I had never been so grateful for his friendship and loyalty. I had pushed him away, tried to exclude him from my life and he stayed, determined to help and for that, I owed him. Big time. "Taichi? I could pay rent for staying here. I mean, I'm probably gonna be here for a while if your mother lets me but I don't wanna just free load off of you. I could pay for a portion of rent."

"No. Don't worry about it. Imagine it as an extended sleepover. You are our guest and guests don't pay for anything."

"At least let me have a part in the chores or something. Money isn't an issue. Let me do my part." I insisted. My pride had been shattered but it would never really go away. I was not about to let myself become a bum and live like a leech in my friend's home. Dimly, I became aware that he had lain down beside me and heard him humming something. The sounds of his humming and the soft ticking of his clock lulled me into a deep sleep and I was out like a light.

A/N: Yama's saved and out of the hell-hole of a house that I've created for him. Their escape was really a lot simpler than I originally made it out to be, huh? I know this chapter's a bit short too but next one is going to be a LOT longer, I promise. crosses heart


	12. Taichi

Disclaimer: Same old, same old.

I got into the bed and pulled the blankets over us. I began humming and soon, the sounds of his heavy breathing could be heard. I watched him and was surprised to find that I was feeling very differently toward him. There was a small patch of moonlight streaming through the window, directly on his face and I studied him. Full lips were slightly open through which breaths were escaping. His lashes rested on high cheekbones and golden hair fell haphazardly around his face. Though I had found out everything, his shame, his secret, I did not feel a single ounce of contempt or pity for him, as I knew he'd feared. Instead, I only experienced a sense of respect; that he could suffer so much and still not succumb into the depths of despair was something that I admired deeply.

Of its own accord, my hand reached up and fingered a lock of his silky hair. Girls would kill for this opportunity, to be lying next to the god, Yamato Ishida, and here I was, doing this for the first time in however many years we had been friends. His lips twitched upwards and he exhaled contentedly. I grinned. He was so innocent when he was sleeping. During his waking hours, he had a mask on; something that not many people could see past or even know was there. But when he slept, his defenses dropped and he was just Yama, not Yamato Ishida, god of the school, not Yamato, the boy whose home life was the most miserable that I'd ever seen, he was just Yama. My hand continued stroking his head, patting him like I would a puppy or a cat and I was gripped with a desire to feel his skin against my lips. I shook my head and blushed in the dark, thankful that I was alone with my thoughts. This was Yama I was talking about and he was my best friend. I still watched him and the same desire rose. It was powerful and I felt I needed to do this. Unhurriedly, checking to make sure he was in a deep sleep, I twisted my body and leaned forward. My lips pressed against the soft skin on his forehead and I closed my eyes happily.

As if waking up from a dream, I jerked backwards, horror taking a hold of me. I smacked my forehead. Stupid, stupid. If Yama had woken up just then-- I shuddered, not even wanting to think about it. He was being sexually abused and was probably uncomfortable around males at the moment. Then again, he didn't seem to mind it when I told him we would have to share a bed if he was to stay here. I supposed he trusted me at least and I was glad. I didn't want anything to happen that would potentially jeopardize our relationship. I didn't even know what I was feeling, what my emotions were at that moment and I wasn't going to act on them until I was sure and confident that whatever my actions, they would be the right ones. For the time being, I would wait and see. My eyes drifted shut of their own accord and before I knew it, I was asleep.

The sounds of teasing and laughter woke me the next morning. I checked outside the window; it was barely beginning to get lighter and I groaned unhappily. Whoever had decided to wake up at this godforsaken hour was certifiably crazy in my book.

"Get out of there, Yamato Ishida. I mean, right now!" Kari was banging on the door.

"No. I'm in the shower." His voice was barely discernable over the noise of running water. He was laughing and the sound was one that I hadn't heard for a very long time. "Come on, Kar. Only five more minutes. Then you can take YOUR precious shower. Why are you up so early anyways?"

"Why are YOU up so early?" Kari shot back.

"I asked you first." He shouted back and Kari stiffened, bent her head and clenched her fists. A muffled scream emitted from behind her clenched teeth. And I struggled to keep from laughing; she was always grumpy in the morning and I knew that any laughter would provoke a good thumping from her.

"What's going on?" I half-chuckled, half-grumbled at Kari and she jerked her thumb at the door.

"Your _guest_ here has hijacked the bathroom and I really need to use it." Kari sounded exasperated and she was fidgeting in the way small children do when they need to use the restroom.

"Use mom's." I shrugged. "She won't hear you if you can be quiet."

"She's in there with her- _boyfriend_." Kari spat, making a face. "Do you know her state of dress when she's in her _bedroom_ with her _boyfriend_?"

"Oh. Then I guess you gotta wait." I shrugged as she huffed frantically, her face was going redder by the minute and her fidgeting became more and more urgent. Just as she looked like she was going to burst from the pressure, Yama opened the door and stepped out, looking refreshed, with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"The bathroom's all yours, Kar." He bowed jovially, and she threw him a dirty look as she raced inside.

"You want to borrow some of my clothes? Until we can get you some new ones, I mean." I grabbed his elbow but he jerked away.

"Don't do that." His voice was low and dangerous, all traces of laughter gone from his face. I stared, open-mouthed at him. He brushed past me into my room and I trailed after him.

"Here." I stuttered, once my voice unstuck. I handed him a shirt, a pair of underwear and some shorts. "Mom apparently did the laundry last night while we were asleep."

"Thanks." I turned away and he hastily put them on.

"Look, I'm sorry that I snapped at you. It's just that- that- he used to- used to grab me there to pull me to- the Torture Chamber." He swallowed and hung his head.

"You'll be okay. He'll never force you to go someplace or do something you don't wanna do." I had said this comfort so many times that I had lost count but I just wanted to make sure that he knew he was finally safe. "Come on, let's go to the tennis courts."

"I don't do tennis."

"S'okay. We'll just go to do something and if we can think of anything better, we'll do that." He seemed to like my idea so we headed out the door. I wrote a note and tacked it to the bulletin board hanging on my mother's bedroom door. It was the most convenient way we communicated with her without having to interrupt her precious hours of sleep. This way, she always knew where to look for any note we had left.

We headed out in the bright morning sun. It was a beautiful day, with cloudless skies, a brightly shining sun, and a cool breeze. Flowers were popping up everywhere in bursts of color, giving everything a wild, vivid look. Young children ran past, screaming joyfully after a winter of being cooped up inside. Couples strolled by, hand in hand, as they gazed adoringly at one another; both young and old were out and about today. Yama seemed to shrink away from the hustle and bustle but I grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. With that, I let go and we walked, slowly, to the tennis courts which were only a block away from the house.

"Hey Taichi!" Sora's voice called, getting louder, which told me that she was getting closer. I cringed slightly and heard Yama chuckle at my discomfort. "I haven't seen you for a while." She threw her arms around my neck from behind and gave me a fat, wet kiss on the ear. "Hello Yamato." She nodded politely at him and he raised his arm, giving her a little wave, though the smile on his face looked a bit strained.

"Hi Sora." He replied. "Umm, I could go if you want some time- ahem, together." I shook my head no as Sora shook her head yes and Yama looked back and forth from each of us, his face devoid of emotion but his eyes were taunting me. She let go of my neck and bounced to my side, taking my hand. She was wearing a flirty v-neck t-shirt and a skirt that was way too low on her hips and way too short. She had a tennis racket slung over her back and sunglasses pushed to the top of her head.

"So, Taichi. How 'bout we get together and have- some fun?" she nuzzled my shoulder and I edged away from her. A group of kids were standing a few feet aways, pointing and laughing as she tried to kiss me. An elderly man and woman walked by and I distinctly heard the woman mutter to her partner,

"Kids these days. Have they no shame at all?" The heat rose up in my face. She could be cute when she wanted to be but this was past the point of mortifying.

"Sora? We were just about to go to the movie theatre and watch that new action thriller." I knew she hated action movies, preferring sappy romance and dramas. "Wanna come?" She wrinkled her freckled nose and shook her head.

"No. I think I'll just practice my serving today." She threw down my hand and ran away into the courts.

"Quick thinking." Was all Yama had to say. Instead of heading to town, we went the opposite way and sauntered toward the park. "Follow me. I know this one place. It's beautiful. Come on!" Excitedly, he took hold of my wrist and practically dragged me off the main path, through clusters of trees, and finally, came to a stop on a hill, away from the noise of people talking, children laughing and shrieking, away from everything. It was quiet and there was a beautiful view of the city from where we were. "Don't stop yet." He tugged and steered me toward small woodland and into a clearing. The floor was springy and there were rocks all around, covered with moss. The best part was the trees. They were tall and easy to climb and Yama, apparently knowing this, kicked off his shoes and pulled himself up. I followed suit and we sat in the tree branches, watching the world go by. It was peace as I had not known and I was content to be sitting, high above the world with my best friend sitting right next to me.

"It's- wow." I croaked after a while.

"Yeah. It's awesome, isn't it? I found it a long time ago but I never got a chance to show you. Especially after you and Sora hooked up." There was a sorrow in his voice that caused my heart to twinge.

"Do you have a problem with Sora?" My question came out sounding more accusing than I had intended. He looked at me for a while and I could tell he was debating with himself whether or not he should be honest to me.

"I do." His matter-of-fact answer caught me by surprise though I was grateful that he was at least honest with me.

"Why? I mean, Sora's one of us." I meant that she was one of the Digidestined and they had never really had problems before; at least, not ones that I had noticed.

"You're too good for her. I mean, at first, I didn't care because she was a really cool person and I was happy for you. But she's changed, Taichi, and I don't know if you can tell but- but she's- she's a- pardon my saying, but she's a slut." And his answer made sense. I wasn't in love with her, never had been. I'd just been fooling myself and wasted a lot of my time pretending that I was. "Tai? Look, if I offended you, I'm sorry." He had misinterpreted my silence.

"No, no. I was just thinking. You took my by surprise, is all." _More like, opened my eyes._ We sat in silence for a while, watching the sun change positions. When we started feeling restless, we jumped out and ran around on the grassy knoll beside our hiding place until all our energy had been spent. Tired, Yama dropped to the floor and lay on his back, spread-eagled. His spun-gold hair hung around his head like a halo and I flopped down beside him, only I was on my side facing him, my head propped up by my hand. We lay beside each other, panting from our exertions.

"Tai? Why did you like Sora in the beginning?"

"She was fun, played soccer with me, made me laugh, and wasn't like all the other girls. She was the opposite of every girl I knew and I liked that. She's changed. Now all she wants to do is kiss and cuddle and go shopping. I hate shopping." Yama laughed quietly. I loved it when he was happy. His smile, his laugh was infectious; you just couldn't help smiling along with him. He was perfect. As he lay there, staring into the sky, his sapphire eyes reflected the purplish-blue and pink hues left behind by the dying sunlight. They danced and sparkled joyfully, there was no longer a burden hidden behind the façade of indifference; he was truly happy. His pale skin was healing, the bruises left behind were already beginning to fade, the only outward testimony of the horrific abuse he had suffered.

"Thank you, Tai." His soft voice carried above the weakening sounds of people. "I owe you my life."

"Yama, you don't have to thank me. You would have done the same for me. That's what friends do." I put a hand on his and he held it tightly.

"Are you content with being my friend?"

"Of course! How could you think otherwise?"

"I dunno. Maybe I'm just a burden or something." He shrugged, and inclined his face slightly to look directly into mine.

"You are NOT a burden. You are not a burden. I don't care what you think. You are not a burden. Not now, not ever." I was adamant.

"I was just wondering." His face looked sad though he was smiling. "My dad used to say that I was. That he was taking what was rightfully his. It was like my payment to him for existing. He said I owed him."

"How long had he been- you know?" I gulped, afraid I had crossed the line. Yama closed his eyes as he pondered the question. He didn't seem offended, just thoughtful, as if he was trying to remember something that eluded him.

"I'm not sure." He trailed off. "I think it started a little after he and mom divorced and she took T.K. I don't remember exactly when." His brow furrowed a little. "Why me? Why did he choose me? Why did he have to hurt me?" His voice cracked.

"He was sick and probably depressed. You were there and you wouldn't be going anywhere. You couldn't fight back. He felt power over you." I replied, thinking back to shows that my mother used to watch that talked about this type of stuff. Yama started yelling into the skies.

"He was supposed to be my DAD, Tai! He was supposed to love me, not hurt me. Take care of me, not make my life a living hell! Fuck, I used to seriously think that the only way to escape the pain was to die. Do you know how many fucking times I begged whoever was up there to just kill me? Do you know how many fucking times I cried myself to sleep, locked up in that- that hell hole?! Do you have any idea? Dammit, Taichi, I just wanted to be loved. Is that so hard to ask?" The last two sentences were asked with a sort of quiet desperation as tears made rivulets down his pale cheeks. I wanted so badly to say something but I didn't know what to say. I scooted closer to him, my hand still holding his, until our shoulders were pressing together. At that moment, all I cared about was him. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Just him. And at that moment, I realized that I was in love with him.

"But you ARE loved, Yama." I told him. He stared at me with eyes that were darker than the midnight sky and shimmering with unshed tears. He bit his lip, thinking about something. "Yama?" He leaned in closer to me, raising his head above mine, looking down at me. Closer and closer and my mind screamed, _'Get away Get away Get away!'_ but I couldn't move and I didn't and he was getting closer and then, our lips met. My eyes widened and I couldn't believe I was lying on a secluded hill, at night, kissing my best friend. He was watching me, now anxious, wondering if he had gone too far. But I didn't move, didn't pull away from him. His tongue flicked against my lips and they opened of their own accord. I could taste him, sweet and beautiful. I closed my eyes as he closed his and we both moaned as our tongues battled against each other. We brought our lips together, over and over, a small smack sound as we broke apart for a millisecond of torture, of separation, and then we touched again. Again and again and it was so wonderful. I never imagined it could be this blissful. I held his face in my hands and we tasted each other. I was in heaven. He was more perfect than I had thought before. He groaned in his throat, I could feel the low rumbling as I kissed his neck. I attacked his face with my lips, I was so desperate to feel his skin, taste him, touch him. THIS felt right. This was heaven. This was where I wanted to be forever. I had never felt this way around Sora. His mouth was on mine again and his tongue was exploring my mouth. Then our contact was broken and I opened my eyes and sat up, wiping saliva off my chin.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here, boys." A cold voice laughed.

"What-?" I looked around and Yama was being held back by two thugs in black with dark sunglasses over their eyes. He was struggling with a frenzied look on his face. "Yama?" Instinctively, I moved toward him, to help him but my forehead met the cool metal of a gun and I froze, my eyes moving to look up into the face of the carrier. It was Yama's father. Once the fact registered into my brain, my blood ran cold. He had found us. I had promised Yama. I had promised. Now he was going to take Yama. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't. I had promised. He squatted, the gun still touching my forehead.

"Don't move, faggot, unless you want a bullet in your brain." He leered at me.

"How did you find us?" I whispered, only one thought was running through my brain: _I promised him he would be safe. _He chuckled sinisterly.

"Oh, you see, I was looking for my son and happened across this," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. I blanched; those were mine. They must have fallen out of my pocket while I was in the house and I hadn't noticed. "And what made it so absurdly effortless was the fact that your key ring, Taichi Yagami, has your picture and your address printed on the back." _Damn those personalized key rings. _It was all my fault. "I went to your house and asked that pretty little sister of yours if she knew where you were so I could return your keys to you. Well, she didn't recognize me and told me right away that she thought you might be headed to the park. It is such a small park, don't you think? So easy to find someone and especially since my son has a head of blonde hair that rather stands out, don't you think?"

"You're sick." I spat but he took no heed of my words.

"My son never told me what a handsome friend he had." His calloused hand fondled a lock of my hair and I jerked away from him.

"NO! DON'T YOU DARE, YOU BASTARD! You are not going to touch him!" Yama screamed, straining frantically against the iron grips of the men who held him. He was never going to get away from them, no matter what he did. One of them punched him, hard, in the stomach and he crumpled, coughing and limp. They laughed at him, kicking him mercilessly and he could do nothing but curl into a ball and hope they didn't break him.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled, watching in alarm as he coughed blood onto the grass. They paid no heed to me but his father laughed lowly.

"They were paid to do that. They won't listen to you but it's touching that you would try. You won't be calling the shots, we will." He leaned in closer. "Do you _love_ him, faggot? Do you?" he mocked me and I glared hatefully at him, at his scorn for something so pure. _Yes. I do love him._ "What would you do if I said to you that I was going to kill him, slowly and painfully? Would you let me do that to him?"

"No." I choked. I had promised he would never be hurt again and I would hold true to my word.

"Good, very good." He stroked my cheek and I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut. _This is not happening. _"Would you be willing to take his place?"

"Yes." I answered, even lower than before. My heart was beating painfully fast and I was having trouble breathing.

"What did you say?" I could tell he was grinning, having fun, already knowing my answer.

"I SAID YES!" I shouted angrily, clenching my fists, wanting so badly to smash them right into that smug face of his.

"Taichi, no." Yama coughed from his position on the floor. He looked at me, pleading with me, his lip was split and bleeding badly, a black eye was forming and his nose was bleeding. "You can't. You- can't. Don't do this to yourself. Please." Then his voice dropped so low that I couldn't hear him but he mouthed something. My stomach clenched. What did he just say?

"Shut up!" One slapped him hard on the face and his head jerked in the direction of the slap. I cried out and the air rang with evil laughter.

"The two faggots. Is this _love_?!" they jeered at us.

"Please, Tai, no." Yama mouthed over and over, unable to make a sound. I shook my head at him and accepted my fate.

"Don't hurt him. Leave him alone and never go after him again. Never send anyone after him. Don't even see him ever again and I'll go in his place." I said defiantly. Yama's father beamed, showing rotting teeth.

"Good, good. I'll bet you've never been fucked, have you? Very good, you're still a virgin. Ah, boy, you will know the full meaning of pain when I'm through with you and you will die knowing that your lover is safe from harm. Aww, isn't that touching?" He motioned to his thugs and they let go of Yama and grabbed me instead. I stood and went with them, looking over my shoulder at his prone figure sprawled on the ground. I hoped he would be okay.

"Bye, Yama. Know that I loved you. That's why I did this. It was for you. I love you." I whispered, although I knew he couldn't hear me.

A/N: Well, this is it. I don't really know what to say… The next one isn't as long but I'll try and make it longer though I'll update slower…

Anonymous: thanks for pointing that out to me. I didn't think of that. Hopefully the next chapter will clear it up.


	13. Yamato

Disclaimer: not mine.

He sacrificed himself for me. I sobbed into the grass. Everything was going so good. It was so perfect and they found us! Now Taichi was going to die for me. As the realization sunk in, I gagged. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let them destroy him. I couldn't let them hurt him in any way. But I needed help. I knew where they were heading. My father was so predictable. He wasn't going home. He knew I would know. He was heading to his clubhouse. That was where the real torture was. I pushed myself off the ground, wheezing. My side exploded in pain but I pressed through the haze of throbbing and stumbled down the side of the hill. In town, I elicited many stares from pedestrians. I was bleeding, stumbling and crying all at once, not to mention my clothes were covered in dirt and grass stains and were torn in several places. Mothers ushered their children away from me, watching me with wary eyes and the older ones pointed and giggled to one another. Older people tutted as I rushed past them, probably wondering what had become of the younger generations. I clenched my teeth and tried to forget about the sharp jabs in my side until I finally got to his home. I pounded on the door, completely forgetting about the doorbell in my desperation. _Please let someone be home. Please._

"Kari! Kari, open up!" I screamed. The door opened and I almost brought my fist down on her head. She yelped and jumped back, giving me a reproachful look as she did. But it turned to curiosity when she had taken in my whole appearance.

"What's the big idea, Yamato? What's wrong?"

"I need to use the phone," and pushed passed her, grabbing the phone before I allowed myself to fall to my knees on the floor as I dialed. "Hello? Police? I need your help. My friend's been kidnapped. Yes, I know where he was taken. Yes, they're dangerous. Hurry. It's at the country club. In the basement. Yes, the one in the middle of town. Please, hurry." I dropped the phone back on its receiver and used the edge of a table to push myself off. I stood wobbling a bit as I did and was about to leave when Kari grabbed a hold of my sleeve. I stopped and looked back, anticipating her questions.

"Yamato? Where's Tai? What's going on?" she sounded truly scared and I knew I couldn't tell her everything. I couldn't let her know that it was my fault that Tai was in the predicament that he was, not after she had befriended me.

"Kari, don't follow me, whatever you do. Tell your mother that I'm going to help Tai. We were ambushed in the park and they took him. I don't know if he's hurt or not but I'm doing everything in my power to make sure he's ok." I sounded calmer than I really was. Inside, I was raging, my mind was a jumble of thoughts, emotions, fears, and hopes fighting for dominance. I raced out the door as fast as I could, leaving her standing in the hallway, staring stunned at the wall.

At the clubhouse, police cars surrounded it completely and a squadron of men was about to barge inside. I approached them and one whirled on me, pointing the gun directly at my forehead. I shrank away from him and put my hands up in a submissive gesture. When he realized I wasn't someone he should shoot, he lowered the gun and shrugged apologetically. Everyone around him was tense and apprehensive, their guns held at the ready.

"Get back, kid. This isn't fun and games. There are dangerous people in there." He jerked a thumb towards the outside of the ring of cars. "Stay away from here if you know what's good for you."

"I already know the risks involved," I told him. "but I'm going inside, whether you like it or not." I tried to push past him to get to the front of the group but he threw his arm out and caught me across the chest. I took a few steps backward and rubbed at the spot, knowing that another bruise would be forming.

"Kid, we don't have time for this." He looked at me the way a teacher would look at a disobeying student. "We aren't going to be able to watch after you in there. You could get killed. I tell you, those people inside are dangerous."

"I DON'T CARE!" I exploded, my face nearly an inch from his, "THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND IN THERE AND I'M THE ONLY ONE MY FATHER WON'T SHOOT AT ONCE!" The tense mutterings and instruction-giving halted and the whole group turned and stared at me. I knew I looked crazy, my eyes were red-rimmed from crying, my voice was hoarse from the shouting I had been doing earlier, bruises were evident on my face and I was heaving. I had every appearance of a madman and I knew it.

"Your- father?" I could see the thoughts going through their heads. _He's a lunatic. Just like daddy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? _

"Yes. I ran away from home because he was abusing me and stayed at a friend's house. This afternoon, I was at the park with my friend and he ambushed us. Tai took my place if my father promised he wouldn't ever hurt me. Please, you have to let me do something. It's my fault he's in this mess in the first place." Not to mention the small fact that I was in love with my best friend that made this whole situation more personal to me than any of these policemen or women would know. "Please. He's my best friend. I have to do something." The stakes in this were higher for me than any of them and I wasn't leaving that clubhouse unless I had Tai with me.

"Fine. On your own head." They sighed once they knew I wasn't going to give in. I could be as stubborn as Tai when I really wanted to; it was one of the best things that had rubbed off him onto me. I followed them inside, overtaking them to be the lead. They wouldn't know where they were going and I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. I opened the door leading to the basement and was met with the barrel of his thug's gun. I could hear a low murmuring, the harsh sound of a slap, and laughter.

"Hi. Remember me?" I spoke deliberately louder than normal, rage making me reckless and irrational.

"Shut up, kid." One of the policewomen hissed but it was too late.

"You've come to save him?" my father's voice piped up, laughing. "Give it up, Yamato, you'll never save him." I suppressed a smirk and adopted a stoic expression, something I was all too used to doing. _But you don't have half the police force in Odaiba behind you. _The thug grabbed my upper left arm and dragged me inside, not seeing the policemen behind me. He dropped me next to my father, facedown. It was just like my dream. I looked up and Tai was there, chained to the wall. Blood trickled out of the corners of his mouth and there was a red mark on the side of his face where my father had evidently slapped him. His right temple was split open and blood was gushing out. My stomach clenched. He was wheezing, desperately trying to get air into his lungs. My father knelt down, grabbed me by the hair and forced my head up.

"You see the pain you've caused? He's going to die like that. Die in pain. And it's all because of you." I could hear the glee hidden behind his words. He was an expert at using psychology to hurt and degrade, a skill borne of spending years working in the television industry.

"No. I won't let you." I struggled, but a sharp pain exploded in my ribs and I stopped. "No. You won't." Then there was a flurry of activity, he let go of my hair, I dropped weakly to the floor, and there was a scream, a bang, then silence. Someone was crying or was that just voices in my head? I used the last amount of strength left in me and lifted my head. My father was lying in a pool of his own blood and his henchmen were being handcuffed and led away. His eyes were wide and his mouth was opened in a silent scream, his goodbye to the world. Tai was being released by a young policeman. I hobbled over and caught him when he fell. He sank against me and I had to lean against the wall to stay upright.

"Yama." he sighed into my shoulder, "Are you okay? I didn't know if you were when they left you. You were just lying there," he mumbled some more but I couldn't make it out.

"I'm fine." I lied and held him tighter to me. I had come so close to losing him, losing the love of my life that the stark reality of it all caused my stomach to do flips and I had to swallow furiously to keep from retching. But I hadn't lost him. He was there in my arms, his face pressed against the hollow between my shoulder and my neck. I could smell him, the sweet scent he always seemed to give off, feel him, alive and warm in my arms.

"He's dead, Yama. He'll never bother you, ever again."

"I know," I murmured, pressing my nose in his hair, "I know."

"Come on, both of you. We're getting you to the hospital to get checked out. We're not taking any chances." A tall, broad policeman ushered us out of the damp basement. I was still holding on to Tai, who seemed reluctant to let go of me. We were silent throughout the whole trip, each of us reflecting on the day's events and wondering what trials life would throw at us next.

At the hospital, they took X-Rays of us. I had a hairline fracture on one of my ribs which accounted for the throbbing but it was nothing too serious. Tai was just very heavily bruised though they had to stitch up two of the gashes on his back. The doctors were appalled at seeing some of the old abrasions and scars covering my body when they removed my shirt to bandage my ribs. As none of the injuries were life threatening, there was really nothing they could do but tell me to keep all the cuts clean or they would become infected. The doctors asked me multiple questions and I answered them as quickly as I could, using only yes-and-no answers when I could. It wasn't hard to tell that I had been abused and they looked at me with pity and sadness in their eyes.

"Who did this to you?" A pretty, bright-eyed young doctor asked me softly, running her slim hands lightly over the bruises littering my frame. When I replied, her eyes filled with tears. "That's so sad. I'm sorry you had to go through all that." She looked over the rest of my body though I struggled quite a bit. After she was finished, she left me in the room, looking back at me one last time before hustling off to turn in her assessment on the damage inflicted on me.

They hustled me away from Tai, much to my displeasure, and dumped me into a room with a couch and a chair beside it. A huge glass window took up almost the whole wall next to the door so doctors could watch the psycho-analysis taking place. The nurse who brought me there ordered me to sit on the couch and too tired to argue, I did. When she left, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, ready to sleep but the door opened again and in walked a stern looking woman. She was wearing spectacles perched at the end of her long nose. Her black hair was pulled into a severe bun at the nape of her neck and she was wearing a business suit. Her heels clacked against the linoleum floor and she sat gracefully into the chair, crossing her ankles and placing a clipboard in her lap. Once she was settled into her seat, she looked at me over the top of her spectacles.

"Hello, Mr. Ishida. I'm Dr. Ichikiri. Now, I will be asking you some questions. I need you to answer them truthfully. I know this will be hard for you but you must answer all the questions for your benefit." She smiled at me in what she thought was a comforting way but it was more of a smirk and not at all heartening. "Before we begin, is there anything you want to say? Just to get anything off your chest? I'm all ears." I shook my head and she looked disappointed. _What makes you think I am going to trust a complete stranger with my deepest, darkest secrets? _"Ok. How did you get those bruises on your face?" I shook my head again. I was not going to talk. _Isn't it obvious, you old cow. How else could I have all these bruises and scars?_ Her lips pursed and she readjusted her glasses. "Hmm, when did you get those bruises?" Still I said nothing and I could tell she was beginning to get frustrated. "Come now Mr. Ishida. You must cooperate with me. I am here to help you." I opened my mouth to protest and probably would have said something quite nasty to her when we were interrupted.

The door opened slowly and I looked up. My face brightened when I saw not a nurse or orderly standing in the doorway, but Tai. He had a large bandage across the right part of his forehead and the bruises were now a purplish-blue color. Dr. Ichikiri's face darkened angrily. Now see here, young man." She stood and advanced on him, "you should not be here. You are disturbing a very important, very private conversation between Mr. Ishida and me. I'm afraid you'll have to leave and come back later." He didn't give her so much as a second glance; he was too busy watching me.

"Hey there, Taichi." I said quietly and Dr. Ichikiri stopped shouting and stared open-mouthed at me. The first words she'd heard come from me and they were not directed at her. "You're okay, right? Because if you're not-" my hands balled into fists. He understood my unfinished sentence and shook his head.

"I'm fine, Yama. It looks a lot worse than it really is." He brushed past the doctor and pulled me into a hug. "How are YOU doing?" I allowed myself to relax against him. I really wanted to sleep. Just let my mind shut down so I could forget, for a while at least, everything that had happened.

"I'm okay." I shrugged, my head resting against the side of his face. "They told me I have a hairline fracture but it shouldn't take too long to heal. Tai, I don't want to answer any questions." His arms tightened around me and I was crushed against him.

"I think it would be best if you did," he murmured into my hair. "Let it all out. Maybe she can help. I'm no professional and there's only so much I can do or say." He kissed the top of my head. "Don't worry about it, I'll be right here, next to you. For emotional support. Just pretend you're talking to me and she's the one listening."

"But, Tai, she's a complete stranger. How do you expect me to tell EVERYTHING to a fucking stranger?" I whispered while the doctor protested,

"I don't-" Dr. Ichikiri held up a finger. Tai stiffened and a breath rattled in his chest. I hid my face in his clothing to hide the satisfied smile that was growing on my face. He was getting upset.

"Look, ma'am, if you really want him to talk, you'll let me stay. And it's not like I don't know what he's going to say anyways. I fucking witnessed it, ok? And he needs to know that someone he cares is here for him." He interrupted her. I grabbed his hand and leaned against him. "Now, Mr. Ishida, you WILL cooperate or I shall see to it that you are tickled into submission." His impression of my father was so good it was unnerving but the ridiculous threat and the twinkle in his eye balanced out the scale.

Seeing that he could not be dissuaded and that I was more cooperative with him sitting beside me, Dr. Ichikiri gave up arguing. She asked me many questions in a two-hour time period, most of which were very hard, emotionally, to answer. I shook violently as I relived everything I had gone through in the past and never let go of his hand. When she finally announced that we were finished, I was exhausted in every way shape and form and when she left the room to report to whoever she reported to, I fell asleep immediately, relieved that now, once and for all, my father would never come after me again. I was finally vindicated.

A/N: Whew. There. Was it predictable? Sorry if it was, I just had to kill off Yama's dad…

And now I will be taking a poll… should I continue? Or start a sequel? Because I still have a lot more ideas to write.


	14. Taichi

Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine. I am merely taking a few creative liberties and manipulating them to do what I want.

It had been almost two months since Yama's father was killed. A month since he had come to live with us, a permanent guest in our humble household. He sold his father's house, donating the money to charities since he really didn't need it. Funny how such a short period of time of finally being happy after so much misery can really change a person. His eyes, while they still look a bit haunted, were no longer dead and flat but joyful and twinkling. He smiled a lot and laughed more, willing to share his emotions with the rest of the world. He was still wary about being in public or near a strange man but all-in-all, he was a changed person. He still hated his fan girls, still hated the fact that he had groups of both adoring girls and boys stalking him, still hated being famous but loved being able to do what he had a passion for.

"Hey Tai, whatcha thinking about?" he whispered seductively into my ear. That was another thing that had changed. His hormones hit him full fledged once he had come to grips with the abuse and now acted, for the most part, like a normal, horny teen. He refused to go beyond kissing but I was willing to wait. We didn't need to hurry and I respected his wishes.

"Get off me, you wanker. Mom's gonna be home any minute now." I laughed, pushing his chest and he fell backward onto the floor with a hurt look on his face.

"You don't like me anymore? What, thinking about going back to Sora?" he pouted, trying to do his best impression of a jealous boyfriend and failed miserably. He only succeeded in making himself look and sound ridiculous. I leaned over and pulled him back up onto the couch.

"Don't be such a baby, Yama. You know we're over. And there's no going back." I pressed my lips against his forehead and he closed his eyes happily.

_Flashback_

_ "Oh my god, Taichi, are you okay? I heard you were at the hospital and I just flipped!" She rushed over to me and landed one on my lips. My eyes popped open and I shifted away from her. She was licking my lips with her tongue, asking for entrance but I pulled away._

_ "Umm, Sora? Look, could you leave? I need to be alone right now." I looked away, feigning guilt. She looked at me, then at Yama, then back at me again._

_ "Well, ok. But then why don't you ask Yamato to leave? I mean, he's here too. And you need to be alone so why don't you ask him to leave too?"_

_ "Because I want, or rather, need him to be here." I answered simply. She made a small noise in her throat, her mouth open in a very unladylike manner._

_ "And you don't want ME?!" her voice rose in pitch and volume until she practically shrieked the last word. I felt Yama stiffen and out of the corner of my eye, saw that he had covered both his ears with his hands and was glaring at her._

_ "Well," I stalled, "I just don't think that we're- right for each other. I mean, I'm not right for you and you're not right for me." I met her eyes and they were furious, shooting daggers at me and Yama._

_ "Are you breaking up with me?" she hissed dangerously, leaning closer. I backed away some more._

_ "Yeah, I guess I am. Sorry Sora." I bit my lip and watched her sink back onto her knees. She stared at me with shock and rage, all the while babbling incoherently._

_ "Fine." She got a hold of herself and stood. "Fine. I don't think we're right for each other. So I'm sorry to say but I don't think we should date anymore. See if I care." Her words were fast and sharp and she rose, stalked out of the apartment and slammed the door so hard, I heard the windows rattle. Yama lowered his hands from his ears and I turned to him._

_ "Sorry you had to see that." I coughed. He only beamed at me._

_ "That's okay. It only means that you're mine, now." He giggled and jumped on me, his soft lips attacking mine._

_ End flashback._

"Tai?" I pulled myself out of my reverie and met his gaze. "Tai, what do you think my mom would say if she knew?"

"Oh." I hadn't expected that. "Well, to tell you the truth, I really wouldn't know. I think she would be upset that he had been hurting you all that time and she had no idea and couldn't help you. I- I- I dunno." He nodded thoughtfully for a moment then flashed a wide, toothy grin. Anyone who didn't know him would have been bemused at his sudden change of moods but, having been his roommate for two months, I was used to it. He had these mood swings quite a few times a day; he could go from the happiest person in the world to a raging madman, screaming every insult known to man. Most of the time, however, he would become serious and moody, brooding on things that could not be changed and asking questions that could not be answered. I did my best to help him and had learned that sometimes, it was just best if I left him alone. His therapist said that he was making a lot of progress considering that he had been abused, had kept his thoughts and emotions pent up for so long.

"Tai?" I nodded to show that I was listening. "Tai," he snuggled closer to me, "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Besides Takeru of course." I smiled down at him and somehow, we ended up kissing, again. His hands were roaming under my shirt, massaging my sore muscles. _Bloody hell, this feels good! _ We were lost in each other when the door flew open.

"Hello? Anybody-" a shriek from Kari brought us back to earth. "Oh shit, I didn't realize you would be home, doing that, no less." She threw a slipper at us; it hit me in the back of the head and Yama stifled a laugh. "Get a room if you're going to make out, 'kay? Seeing my older brother kiss anyone is traumatizing enough. Seeing my older brother kiss the older brother of my boyfriend is even worse. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my room to gouge my eyes out and hope to God that I can get this image out of my head." She shook her head and disappeared into her room. A second later, she stuck her out again. "Oh, and both of you please remember that we're going out later." Both of us groaned and rolled our eyes at her. She had been reminding us all week; for some reason unknown to us, she was particularly excited about our up-and-coming 'date' although it had become a ritual for us.

Since our mother worked long hours and at night, Kari and I were rarely able to see her at all and we missed the contact with her. So we came to an agreement that one day out of every week we would go on a 'date' just the three of us. When Yama moved in, it became the four of us. We always had fun on our outings, always eating dinner at a cheap diner and afterwards doing something different each time. This week was also going to be different. At Kari's insistence, we would be dining at a nice, relatively fancy restaurant instead of somewhere cheap and fast. Mom was skeptical at first but changed her mind so fast that it made the two of us suspicious. The whole week was filled with meaningful looks from the both of them, looks that taunted _'we know something you don't know' _at us.

"Do you really want to go tonight? I dunno, I just feel like their planning something that's either really good or really humiliating for the both of us."

"Well, knowing Kari, it's probably the second one." I shrugged.

"Gee, thanks. That was so reassuring. I have no desire to be made a fool of by your baby sister, thank you very much." Yama sniffed indignantly. We spent the rest of the afternoon arguing about which television show we would watch.

"Let's watch this one!" Yama nearly shouted, pointing exasperatedly at the screen. "Come on, Tai. Let's watch this one."

"No. I wanna watch THIS one." I changed the channel and found the one I wanted. Yama shook his head obstinately and I threw my head back and groaned. It was useless sometimes, trying to get the two of us to agree. We were headstrong, stubborn, persistent, and very unwilling to compromise. I glowered at him and he returned my look with a fierce gaze of his own. Both of us were tugging at the remote but the t.v. was forgotten; now it was just seeing who would back down first. Our battle of wills was interrupted when Mom flew threw the door.

"Hello boys. Sorry I'm late. Are you ready? We're going to leave any minute now. Stop fighting and let's get a move on!" she bustled to her room where she closed and locked the door. I sighed.

"Let's go. Kari'll kill us if we're late." Accepting defeat for both parties, we changed into something suitable for the evening's environment. Outside our door, we could hear the faint sounds of conspiratorial whispering but didn't pay too much attention to it. When we had finished, Yama opened the door and stepped outside, I was close behind. Suddenly, he gasped and stopped short and, not expecting it, I ran right into him. Standing in front of him was his brother.

"Tk?" he breathed, stretching out his hand and touching the other boy's cheek as if making sure he was real and not just a vision. Kari had a knowing smile on her face; this was the reason for her excitement. I made a mental note to thank her later for the look on Yama's face was priceless.

A/N: Ok, I'm leaving it there because I really want to go into how Yamato feels about this… of course, it's a good reaction but… you'll see! Also, you'll notice I skipped a month from where I left off. I didn't really want to go into how Tai's mom and Kari reacted to the fact that he was kidnapped. I dunno if I will at all but I might. It depends on how I'm feeling. My characters are changing, especially Yama. I know he seems to be "healing" faster than in reality but bear with me. Just assume that his relationship with Tai, the loving environment Tai's family has provided for him, and the twice-weekly therapist sessions are REALLY doing magic for him. That's about it, I guess. As always, feedback is appreciated.


	15. Yamato

Disclaimer: blahdee blah blah. Not mine… dur.

"Takeru?" I breathed, disbelieving that he would just show up in front of me on a whim. What was he doing here?

"Hi Matt." He smiled nervously at me, calling me the name he always used to call me when he was younger, when he couldn't fully pronounce my name.

"What are you doing here?" After all those years of relative silence from each other, it was a shock to see how much he had grown up.

His eyes still held the look of naïve innocence but his face had matured, giving him the appearance that he was older than he really was. His hair had darkened somewhat; before, it had been the same color as my hair. Now it was the color of brown sugar. He was taller now, his head was level to my shoulder and he no longer wore that dumpy little helmet of his. Instead, he left his hair uncombed and tousled, as if he had just gotten out of bed and the style softened the sharp features on his face. His voice had deepened but I knew it would crack sometimes. His body was lanky, as if he'd been stretched too much and he walked with the awkwardness of a baby duckling. Still, it was good to see him, no matter how awkward he may have been.

"I'm dating Kari and she asked me to come over," was the simple reply and then something in his face changed. His voice became anxious and he grabbed my hands. "Matt? You know that I missed you, right? You know that I wanted to see you, right? Cuz I did. I tried to see you but you were always busy. Dad said that you thought I didn't love you anymore, that I'd forgotten about you but I didn't. I love you, Matt, you're my older brother. I just couldn't see you anymore. He wouldn't let me." I couldn't swallow the lump that had appeared in my throat so I hugged him.

"I know, Tk. I know. He wouldn't let me see you. I so wanted to see you."

"What happened, Matt? Dad always said you were grounded."

"He just didn't want you to see me." I answered, my heart was beating uncomfortably in my throat. We were treading dangerous waters and I didn't want him to know exactly what was going on between dad and me.

"What happened? Why aren't you living with him anymore? Kari said you're staying with them." He sounded so innocent and once again, I found myself loving him so much it hurt. He was and always would be, my baby brother and I would always do my best to protect him from the harsher elements of the world. "Matt?"

"I can't tell you, Tk. I just can't." I gulped. I didn't know how he would react when he found out and there was no way I was going to risk losing him.

"Please, Matt? Please?" He hugged me tighter. "Tell me. Please?" I hated it when he used that tone. I could never resist. Even then, I felt my resolution cracking and I sighed. _Dammit__, I can never say no to the kid._

"Fine, I'll tell you." I ruffled his hair. "Mrs. Yagami, we'll be out in just a bit." I led him to Tai's room and closed the door. He sat down on the bed and I sat down next to him. "Ok, where should I start?"

"What happened to make you run away?"

"He was hurting me. So I ran." I was only giving him short, concise answers that told the truth but left out all the gory details.

"Hurting you? How?"

"He was abusing me." I shrugged, trying my best to look nonchalant about it. As if the abuse was nothing more than limited use of the internet or the phone, as if I had merely run away from the "dictatorship" of my father.

"Matt, I'm not five," he snapped, "Tell me exactly what he was doing to you." He probably had a good idea about what had been going on but I guess he wanted to hear it from me. Nevertheless, the thought of revealing all my shame to my younger brother was disconcerting and I shrank from the thought. He nudged me and nagged and whined until I was frustrated to the point of snapping. I jumped up and faced him, anger flaring in my eyes.

"Dammit, Tk, that son of a bitch raped me. There, are you happy now? That fucking bastard raped me every night for over five years," I shouted, leaning in so my face was barely an inch away from his. He stared at me in shock over my outburst, innocent sky-blue eyes wide open.

"Matt? I- I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracked and I smiled indulgently at his self-consciousness.

"Because I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to know about any of it." I sat down again and ran a hand over my eyes.

"Why not?" he pressed. _What's the use? He knows too much already. Might as well tell him everything. He has a right to know, doesn't he?_

"Because- because I thought it was my fault, okay? For a while I thought it was my fault that he hated me so much that he would feel the need to punish me in such a way that it destroyed me mentally and emotionally and physically." Tk stood and wrapped his arms around me. He was no longer a child. The realization hit me that my little brother, my Tk, was no longer someone who needed to be looked after constantly. He could take care of himself and didn't need to be protected from everything bad in the world, didn't need to be sheltered from reality. I loved him. My eyes watered but I brushed away the tears impatiently. I'd had enough crying.

"I'm sorry, Matt. I didn't know. I figured something was wrong but I didn't know. I wish I had." He whispered sorrowfully. I chuckled.

"Hey, you couldn't have known. I didn't let anyone know. You never even saw me. Tai saw me every day and he didn't know what was up until just very recently. And it was only because dear old dad started to get sloppy and hit me on the face quite a number of times. Don't feel guilty."

"Where is he now?" Anger tinged his words and I nearly smiled. He was getting hot-headed, reminding me of a certain someone who was waiting for me outside the door…

"He's dead." The words came out so easily, so unemotionally. Tk gasped. "He found me after I ran away and he kidnapped Tai and I went with the police to get him and I guess he pulled a gun on them so they killed him." I felt nothing. No anger, no fear, nothing. It was frightening and liberating at the same time.

"He's dead so he can't ever hurt you again." It was my turn to be shocked. I never expected him to say something like that. "I can't believe he would hurt you so badly. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, little bro. No problem. He's dead and gone and like you said he can't ever bother me again. He can't hurt me. I'm happy now for the first time in a long time I'm happy. Don't be sorry. He was a son-of-a-bitch, anyways. Good riddance to him." I smiled. "Now, let's go eat before Tai passes out. He's been moaning about the rumbling in his gut for an hour." I turned to open the door.

"Oh, Matt? Are you and him-" he blushed, "are you guys- together?"

"Yeah. We are." I replied boldly. He wouldn't care, would he? But my momentary worries were blown away when he returned my smile.

"Good. Took you long enough." He muttered just loud enough so I could hear. I stopped with one hand on the doorknob and stared incredulously at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, already half-knowing the answer.

"Well, you've liked him ever since we arrived at the Digital World. And I know he's liked you too. The both of you are just too damn stubborn and blind for your own good." I pulled him into a headlock.

"Are you SURE that I've liked him for that long?" I asked, giving him a noogie and he squirmed.

"Yes! It was so obvious. Blinking, in-your-face, neon sign obvious to EVERYONE, even Kari, except for the two of you." I let go of him.

"Whatever, kid, whatever." I acquiesced, knowing that what he had said was true. Well, on my part, it was true. I opened the door and we walked out.

"Finally," Tai grumbled unhappily as he rubbed his stomach, "I was just about to pass out from starvation. Let's get a flamin-" The rest of his words were jumbled as I'd closed the small distance between us and, in front of everyone, kissed him smack on the lips.

"Tai, my little bug of a brother here thinks that we've had a thing for each other ever since the Digital World. Please tell me it's not true just so I can rub it in his face." I said, reveling in the taste of his lips.

"Sorry love. It's true. That's what Kari's just been telling me. She says it took us long enough and that we were just too stubborn to realize it." I broke our kiss and then threw my head back and laughed. We had been wasting so much time pretending we hated each other and then just pretending that we were just friends.

"Hey Kar, you and my bro BELONG with each other. That's exactly what he said. Great minds think alike, eh?" She nodded and we broke apart. Somehow, unconsciously, we had managed to wrap our arms around the other person's waist and brought our bodies a little too close for comfort, especially since we were in the presence of three other people.

Dinner was great and we had had a lot of fun laughing and talking, catching up on each other's lives. Mrs. Yagami was a little flustered after our quite public kiss and didn't seem to know what to make of it.

"But Taichi," she implored, "whatever happened to Sora? She was such a sweet girl."

"Oh Ma, it didn't feel right with her. Something was missing." He took my hand. "Now, it feels right." She smiled at the gesture.

"Well, I have nothing against your relationship, Taichi," she said, sensing his defensiveness. "You just took me by surprise, that's all. But," and here, a stern look appeared on her face, "I don't want any hanky-panky stuff going on in my house. I trust you boys." But she winked.

Afterwards, we walked around town for ice cream and when Takeru had to go home, I gave him the number to my mobile cell and he gave me his. I was determined this time to stay in touch with him. He would be, after all, my brother, after all my other relatives had died, he would still be there. And now, there was nothing to get in the way, nothing to hinder us from being brothers, real brothers and not just strangers related only by DNA. Life was good.

A/N: I didn't like this chapter too much. But let's just say I have a serious, major case of WRITER'S BLOCK and as I've been working on this for a while now (I pre-wrote everything before I started posting) it's beginning to get on my nerves. So I say "screw it" I'll just post it or it'll drive me insane and pray that you won't lose interest after this. Next chapter will be a lot better (hopefully) and it will _probably _contain some lemon-ish… fun. grins evilly however, as my writer's block doesn't seem to be going away, I will probably post sometimes next week at the earliest… but review review review… it might make the writing come a bit quicker. nods encouragingly thank you.


	16. Tai and Yama

Disclaimer: this is purely for entertainment. Digimon isn't mine… yadda yadda…

A/N: this chapter contains some lemon/lime-ish content. If that sort of stuff makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you leave. However, it's nothing TOO explicit… if my mother ever decided to snoop through my files (which she has done before) damn, all HELL would break loose. With that explained, read on!

I could never have asked for more, could never have been happier. Yama and I, well, we were a couple and had mutually decided that we wouldn't share our status to anyone at the present moment. He wasn't ready to tell his following that he was gay and I wasn't ready for what I assumed would happen: that his fans, outraged that I had "stolen" Yama from them, would come after me. We didn't do anything, hadn't gone past kissing and hugging, Yama wasn't ready for the intimacy of sex and, to be quite honest, neither was I. It was just like old times, just like back when we were younger, except that we kissed. And we were happy with that. Of course, sometimes it got a bit frustrating but it was nothing too bad.

I was sitting at my desk, writing a term paper and Yama was lying on his stomach on my bed, studying for an upcoming final exam. One leg lay limp on the comforter but the other was held in the air, moving aimlessly. His hair flopped into his face and every so often he would shake his head to get it out of his eyes but it always fell back. He was resting on his elbows, one hand tucked under his chest and the other touching the book and turning the pages when needed. I was doing more Yama-watching than I was my homework and all I could think about was how cute he looked when he was concentrating. His nose would scrunch up and his eyebrows would contract and he would bite his bottom lip in a way that made him look as if he was faintly puzzled.

"Tai, honey? We're leaving now! You be good okay? And make sure you and Yamato get all your homework finished!" My mother called, knocking on the door. I jumped and so did Yama. I opened the door.

"Where you going, mom?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"Kari and I are attending that mother-daughter conference, remember? I've been reminding you all week." She sounded exasperated but ruffled my hair affectionately.

"Ah, mom, gerroff." I ducked under her reach.

"There's food in the fridge but I left some money on the counter if you want to order in or go out or whatever. Just make sure it lasts the week." Her eyes got all soft and she hugged me. "I'm going to miss you two. But behave, all right?" she blew a kiss to Yama and then bustled out the door with Kari. We watched them leave. Once they were gone, Yama turned to me.

"I don't wanna study anymore. Let's go out." and he grabbed the money and my wrist and dragged me out the door before I could even answer. We ended up watching a completely horrendous movie and after, grabbed a quick bite to eat at a local diner. At home, we sat on the couch and somehow, ended up making out. I pushed him and he lay on his back with me on top and I was lost in the taste of his mouth. It never ceased to amaze me how incredible he tasted. Like chocolate and mint and strawberries. We broke apart but only because we had completely run out of air and I looked into his eyes and he stared back. I leaned over as he was sitting up and we traversed to my room. Still kissing, I fumbled with the door and managed to lock it and we tumbled onto the bed. I pressed Yama against the wall and kissed him without abandon. One of my hands was on his other side, supporting me and the other was tangled in his hair. His hands were alternately roaming down my back, clutching at my hair, running up and down my chest and it was sweet and torturous at once.

I pushed him on his back and he went willingly, so I was lying on top of him. His hands tugged my shirt upwards and I lifted my arms so it slid right off. He pulled off his own shirt and I ran a trail of feathery kisses down his jaw and along his neck, working my way to his collarbone. All he had to do was moan. All he had to do was arch his neck toward me and sigh and I very nearly lost it right there. My hands went to his waist and my fingers fumbled with his belt, the zipper, slid my pants down until he was only wearing boxers. I ran my hand over him, he was tense and hard and suddenly, I couldn't wait anymore; I had to feel him.

So I slid off his boxers and he froze, his cerulean eyes stared up into mine and I could see lust and fear battling within him.

"Yama? Yama, I'll stop now. Just tell me and I swear I'll stop." But in my mind I was praying with all my heart that he wouldn't stop me. He placed a finger to my lips and smiled hesitantly and he looked so beautiful, so angelic. I loved him so much it felt like I would burst apart, as if even the universe wouldn't be able to hold all the love I felt for him at that moment or at any time. And our eyes met, sky and chocolate meeting and melting together until they could no longer be told apart and he pulled me towards him as we were lost in the beauty of each other's love.

"I love you, Tai." I whispered the next morning when I awoke to his beautiful face, his sweetly smiling eyes looking directly at me. He bit his bottom lip, smiling, looking almost embarrassed. We were lying close to each other in the bed and the morning sunlight was bursting through the curtains. "I love you."

"I love you too." He murmured and kissed my forehead. I stretched, still a little sore from what happened last night but he had been surprisingly gentle. "You okay? I didn't- hurt you last night, did I?" he was watching me worriedly.

"No. No, you didn't. Not at all." I pulled him up and kissed him soundly on the lips.

"You are perfect, you know that?" he said, running his hands through my hair. "You are perfect and you are mine. All mine." I couldn't help it, I blushed. I was so used to hearing that I was a failure, that I was ugly and miserable and despicable that my first instinct when being complimented was to not believe it. But with Tai, I felt it. With Tai, it was so natural, so loving and I felt perfect and beautiful with him. It was as if love and tenderness were oozing out of every pore on his body and whenever we were near, or even when we were far apart, that love was being transferred to me. I loved him with everything that I had and much more. Words fail to describe all the emotions that swirled in my brain and in my heart whenever his eyes captured mine. He affected me in such a way that no one else could. I had never received so much care, had never given so much love to anyone before. This was something entirely new and entirely different and I was enjoying every waking, and sleeping, moment that passed.

I rolled off the bed, pulling him down with me and we fell to the ground in a heap of once-sweaty limbs, heaving chests shaking with mirth and tangled bedsheets. He looked down into my eyes, chocolate brown mixing with a cerulean blue, swirling together until one could not be told apart from the other. We stopped giggling, our heartbeats stilled and all I could think about was his breath hitting my lips, spreading to my cheeks. My lover—how I relished calling him that-- got closer, lips slightly opened and I closed my eyes and tilted my head to receive his gesture of affection. I could sense him getting closer, his bare chest pressing against mine, could almost taste his breath on my mouth—and then the phone rang. Startled, we jerked apart and both of us cast a glare around the room at the offender.

"Damn, fucking, stupid phone," Tai muttered under his breath. If looks could kill, the phone would have been blasted apart the second he laid eyes on it. I punched him on the arm and not trusting him to pick it up, I answered for him.

"Hello?" I asked, none too politely myself.

"Ishida, you bloody idiot! Have you forgotten that today's our big day?" Ryu's voice assaulted my ear (1). "You do realize that you've skived off practices for over a month? And tonight, in exactly eleven hours, we have a concert to attend? A concert where we are not the audience but the performers? Huh? Where the fuck have you been?" he demanded and I opened my mouth to give him my reasons but he continued on, "Anyways, we're going to be practicing at our usual spot so be there or else." He growled and then the phone clicked; he'd hung up.

"Who was that?" Tai stood, letting the dirty sheets stay on the floor. "Takeru? Or mom?"

"No. It was Marco." I mumbled, running a hand through my hair.

"From your band?" I nodded glumly. No matter how happy I was at the moment, I was in no mood to be in front of thousands of screaming fans singing for them while they worshipped me. "Well? What'd he say?"

"We have a concert tonight. I totally forgot, Tai, and I haven't been practicing lately. Not with what happened." My voice was tinged with the panic that was wreaking havoc on my brain. "I forgot. How could I forget?"

"Hey, calm down." He moved behind me and kissed my shoulders. "You're a natural at this and no matter how long you go without practicing you know as well as I do that as soon as you pick up that guitar of yours, you're gonna sound as if you haven't skipped a day. Just be calm about it." He knocked me upside the head. "Besides, even if you blow, you'll still have me. Of course, I wouldn't want to be seen with you in public, since you'd completely screwed up and made yourself the laughingstock of Odaiba…" his voice trailed off and he looked thoughtfully at me. "Then again, I guess we could always dress you up as a girl. No one would ever recognize you in that getup. You could borrow one of Kari's dresses." I used one of his pillows to smack him square on the face. He was impossible sometimes, doing everything in his power to irritate me and he did it _so_ well and even though he was aggravating, there was nothing in the world that could tear me from his side.

"Shut up, you wanker." I laughed at his mock-furious expression. "You KNOW I won't make a fool of myself just as soon as all my adoring female fans will stop chasing after me, trying to rip off all the clothing I wear."

"There it is!" he shouted triumphantly. "There's the ol' Yamato pride that we've come to know and love. Just be your proud, calm self, Ishida, and the thing's in the bag." He clapped me on my back.

"Whatever. I have to get to the garage. Marco's about to rip off my head as it is so I can't afford to be late." I playfully shook him off and took a hot shower. Once I was finished, I found something that I figured was suitable for practice. There would be more clothes backstage at the stadium. I picked up my "pride-and-joy" from it's new home, a corner in Tai's closet and prepared to leave. Meanwhile, he had also taken a shower in his mother's room and came out, billowy hair still a little damp, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Can I come with?" he asked, leaning nonchalantly on the wall but I could hear the eagerness in his voice.

"I dunno if the rest of the band'll really appreciate that," Tai's face fell, "but how 'bout I get you some front row seats? Maybe even a backstage pass? You don't think I'm going to leave you out of it, do you?" I leaned in and winked in a way that I hoped was sexy; the grin on his face told me what I wanted to know.

"No," Tai shook his head, "I just wanted to-" but he never got the rest of his sentence out for I had just planted a firm kiss on his lips and we spent the next ten minutes with our mouths full so there was really no talking and after that, I rushed out, waving to Tai and shouting,

"See you!" He closed the door behind me and I was off.

Minutes later, I skidded into our practice hall. Everyone was there and when I ran in, everyone stopped talking. I could tell that they were angry with me and I felt bad for having ditched them but circumstances had proved that impossible.

"Sorry guys." I said nervously, taking my guitar from its case. Tomirou snorted.

"Where the bloody hell have you been, Ishida?" he snarled, ready to punch my lights out. I stared him down.

"Look, I said I was sorry. Things have been a little—wild lately and I haven't been myself. It just hasn't been too good for me lately but I'm really, really sorry." My bandmates calmed down. "Now, what say we get me caught up with whatever you've been working on, eh?" and our practice session commenced.

(1): i don't know the names of Yamato's band mates so i used the names that keiji used in her fanfic "the real thing." so if she made up those names herself or whatever, the credit goes to her.

A/N: Whew. Nothing too explicit… one of my longer chapters, eh? This was, I think, the hardest chapter to write. Writer's block and a lack of inspiration… not to mention, my muse went on vacation. Little bastard. Anyways, the story is coming to a close… I dunno exactly how many more chapters I'm going to write but this is very near the end. I hope I've tied up any loose ends by this point but if I haven't, just let me know. Until next time…


	17. Taichi

Disclaimer: none of this is mine. None of this will EVER be mine. Unfortunately…

A/N: and due to extreme boredom and a horrible case of insomnia, I have been able to complete yet another chapter in a short amount of time, earlier than I had previously expected so... be sure to thank the gods of insomnia and the gods of caffeine.

I was in the apartment cleaning up the house to surprise my mother when she came home. It was a mess from books to empty take-out cartons scattered throughout the place. It's amazing how much junk a family can leave spread around in just a short time. Damn, my mother was going to have a coronary when she walked through that door to find a spotless home. I was just wiping down the counters in the kitchen when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked, wiping sweat off my brow.

"Hey sexy," Yama's voice purred, "how would you like to be my date this evening? I've got a couple extra tickets in places my fans would kill for."

"I would love that. Am I gonna be the only one?"

"No," he sighed, "I was hoping it would be okay if you invited up Takeru for me. Last time I saw him, he told me that I had better get him to one of my concerts or else. That's okay, right?"

"Yeah, fine. He's family, after all, right?" We parted and I called up his brother who was more than happy to drop his plans to go see his big brother perform. When we arrived at the stadium, it was already jam-packed and screaming fans were desperately shoving each other aside in hopes to get in first.

"What a mess." Takeru groaned and I silently agreed.

"How the hell are we supposed to find backstage? We don't have any passes or shit and I know for a fact those guards won't allow anyone through without a pass or special permission." How many times had I been to one of his concerts and tried to get backstage only to realize that my pass had been left at home or lost somewhere in the mob of people. I always hated the suspicious looks those guys gave me when I explained and it was only when Yamato greeted me and pulled me inside that I was actually allowed through the doors. "Watch it!" I snapped as a girl shoved past me, almost knocking me over in her haste to get through the doors. She threw me a disgusted look and tossed her long black hair.

"YOU watch it, bastard." She rolled her eyes and strutted away. I stuck my tongue out at her, a rather immature thing to do, but it made me feel better.

"Oi, you there!" A burly bodyguard came charging at us through the crowd. "You Taichi?" I nodded. How had he known? "Takeru? Fine, follow me."

"Um, sir?" I began tentatively; he didn't look like a person you would want to get angry. "How did you know who we were?"

"I had a description. Someone tall and quite gangly with a load of bushy brown hair and—what was it?—oh yes, really sexy eyes." I blushed and the man winked at me. "He's pretty fond of you. The way he goes on and on about you..." He pushed through the mob of girls (though there were quite a few boys also) and led us to a room at the back of the stadium. There a small group of girls, skimpily dressed, were begging the security guard to let them through.

"Please, sir? I'd so like to see my boyfriend." I recognized that voice. It was Sora and she appeared to be the leader of the group. "He'd want to see me too and I'm sure he will be most displeased that you, fine security personnel that you are, didn't let the most precious person in his life to get backstage." She batted her eyelids at the bouncer and sashayed over to him, making sure to swing her hips and show off the fact that she was wearing a thong under a miniskirt that twirled as she moved. The man gulped; his resolution was weakening.

"Hold on there, Mark. Remember you can't let anyone in unless they have passes." Our bodyguard stepped in front of the girls. Takeru and I hesitated but he beckoned us forward. "Come on then."

"But THEY don't have passes." Sora whined and the bodyguard gave her the evil eye.

"Yes, but I have express orders from Mr. Yamato Ishida that they be present backstage before the concert. Now, if you'll excuse me, I will carry out those orders." He answered icily. I flashed a taunting look at Sora and she glared daggers at me. Huffing angrily, she turned and stalked away, leading the rest of her posse to the packed doors where she had almost no hope of getting through now.

"There you are!" and I was attacked by something golden and soft, smelling of something indescribably good.

"Hey to you too, Yamato." I pushed away, laughing. "You're choking me!" He let go, an apologetic look on his face before he noticed Takeru.

"Hey!" he said and gave his brother a hug too. "Follow me. The seats are right there." He led us down some stairs and we gasped. We were right in front of the stage with perfect views of the band. I gripped the camera I had brought. Yama was never as sexy as when he was playing his electric guitar, eyes twinkling with joy as he sang his heart out. We were seated and after a few minutes of waiting, the band themselves came out, beaming at the thousands of screaming fans. They stood in their positions and eventually, the crowd quieted. "Hello and welcome to our concert! I am so glad that all of you could make it and I suppose you don't want us to keep you waiting, right?"

"NO!" roared the crowd but Yama arranged his face into an expression of confusion.

"You want us to keep you waiting?" He asked, making his voice sound as perplexed as he could, but never the best actor, his question was broken up by little chuckles.

"NO!" they roared, louder than before and with a small nod to his band members, Yama broke into song.

_Hope, dangles on a string _

_Like slow spinning redemption _

_Winding in and winding out _

_The shine of it has caught my eye _

_Roped me in so mesmerizing _

_And so hypnotizing _

_I am captivated _

_I am... _

_Vindicated _

_I am selfish, I am wrong _

_I am right, I swear I'm right _

_Swear I knew it all along _

_And I am flawed _

_But I am cleaning up so well _

_I am seeing in me now _

_The things you swore you saw yourself _

His eyes never left mine, his soft smile was all for me and in between bringing up my camera to my face, I beamed joyously at him. He was mine and while the world didn't know, I knew and that was all that mattered. His voice was crystal clear and soft and beautiful and I found myself loving him so hard that it hurt. It felt that my heart was about to burst in my chest from the love and joy that I was feeling at that exact moment. It didn't matter that he'd come from a dark past haunted with shame and anger and betrayal, didn't matter that there would always be emotional wounds, all that mattered, all that I cared about was that the man standing on that stage was mine and mine forever.

_So clear _

_Like the diamond in your ring _

_Cut to mirror your intention _

_Oversized and overwhelmed _

_The shine of which has caught my eye _

_And rendered me so isolated _

_So motivated, I am certain now _

_That I am.. _

_Vindicated _

_I am selfish, I am wrong _

_I am right, I swear I'm right _

_Swear I knew it all along _

_And I am flawed _

_But I am cleaning up so well _

_I am seeing in me now _

_The things you swore you saw yourself _

_So turn up the corners of your lips _

_Part them and feel my finger tips _

_Trace the moment, fall forever _

_Defense is paper thin _

_Just one touch and I'd be in too deep_

_To ever swim against the current _

_So let me slip away, so let me slip away _

_So let me slip away, so let me slip against the current _

_So let me slip away, so let me slip away _

_So let me slip away, so let me slip away _

_Vindicated _

_I am selfish, I am wrong _

_I am right, I swear I'm right _

_Swear I knew it all along _

_And I am flawed _

_But I am cleaning up so well _

_I am seeing in me now _

_The things you swore you saw yourself _

_Like hope, dangles on a string _

_Like slow spinning redemption_

As his beautiful voice faded away with the last note, he grinned ear to ear and bent down. Before I knew it, he'd grasped me by the arm and had pulled me up on stage and I was looking out at the arena from his point of view and it was magnificent and electrifying and terrifying all at once. I would never know how he never had stage fright in front of all those people.

"I, Yamato Ishida, proudly present to you, my fine, fine audience," at this the crowd screamed and stamped, "Taichi Yagami, my boyfriend and the love of my life!" Before I could say anything, he grabbed me round the waist, brought me closer and pressed his lips against mine and the throngs of people melted away, the band members, gaping at us, disappeared and it was just us. Just me and Yama. When we pulled away, reality came crashing back down on us and I blinked into the faces of many, many shocked fans, stunned to near silence. Embarrassed, I jumped off the stage and pretty soon, the shock wore off and the mob got wilder and it was as if he had never said anything. Yama began to play again and I watched him, knowing him like no one else had ever known him. It meant the world to me that he had risked his career and doing what he really loved to do just to tell the truth about him and me. They acted as if it was nothing but it was something. It was what it was. Yamato Ishida, lead singer of a world-famous band, and Taichi Yagami, aspiring soccer star, was a couple and there was nothing anyone could ever do about it.

A/N: The song above is "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional. I love that song and the first time I ever heard it, I just thought that the singer's voice sounded like how I had pictured Yama's voice in my head. I couldn't resist adding it here somewhere. So now I've added it and I'm happy with myself. smiles proudly ahem, yes, I happen to be pretty hyper at the moment, don't ask me why. It's much too late to be hyper but I'm babbling. And now, I leave you to click the oh-so pretty review button and… yup, you guessed it, review!


	18. Yamato

Disclaimer: not mine.

A/N: hee hee. Fast updates, eh? This one's been coming along really well so I might as well post, right?

It felt great coming out of the closet, so to speak. It felt great knowing that my fans had no problem with me dating another boy. It felt great knowing that Taichi would always be there for me even if my fans deserted me. He was my rock, the foundation on which the rest of my life would be built and, standing up on stage, in front of all those people, was nothing compared to the feeling I always got when Tai was around me, when I could look into his eyes and smell his hair and cover his lips with mine. Everything was right with the world. I was singing, more specifically, I was singing to him and ONLY him.

Then Tai's mobile phone went off and he answered, meeting my eyes, a rather perplexed look wrinkling his brow.

"What?!" he shouted, paling dramatically. I could discern every word he spoke by reading his lips and him being so close and talking so loudly. "They're going to be okay, right? Tell me they're going to be- no," his shouts dropped to horrified whispers, "no, no. I- I understand. Yes." He dropped the phone and sank into his chair, burying his face in his hands. I stopped singing immediately.

"Tai? Tai, what's wrong? What happened?" I rushed toward him, dropping my guitar, not giving a damn if I'd just wrecked it. I had to get to him. I vaulted off the stage and knelt down in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders.

"Kari and mom." He managed to choke out. "They- they- oh god." And from then on, he couldn't or wouldn't speak.

"Tai, love, I won't know what's the matter or how to help you if you don't tell me what's hurting you. Please?" I massaged his neck.

"Th- they were at the conference and a crazed maniac started firing. Both of them were hurt. They said that they're not sure if either of them are gonna survive through the night." He was shaking so violently and his teeth were chattering so much that he could barely speak, tears leaking from behind his hands. He dropped to his knees in front of me and then it was my turn to hold him as he cried. It was my turn to carry his burden on my back. My turn to help him when he needed it. He buried his face in the hollow between my neck and shoulder and sobbed without abandon. His arms clung to me, holding me so tightly it was like he thought that if he let go of me, he would burst into millions of pieces. I heard a funny sound behind me and looked up. Takeru was watching us with a horrified look on his face, his mouth open and his eyes were wide.

"Takeru?" I said, softly.

"K-Kari. Kari's hurt?" I nodded and he bit his lip, not meeting my eyes. I reached an arm toward him but he shook his head. "No. I think you should concentrate on him first." So I did what he told me and just held Tai, not bothering to say anything; Tai, being Tai, wouldn't listen to me, not yet anyways.

"You know where they were taken? Which hospital?" I gulped audibly. The crowd was craning their necks, looking to see what was wrong, murmuring and muttering to themselves and each other. They were growing restless, upset that the concert they had probably paid so much to attend was interrupted.

"Um, due to a private matter of a personal nature, we are sorry to say that we will have to postpone the rest of the concert to another undisclosed time. You will all be given first priority and should you not be able to make it, we will refund your tickets. Keep your tickets, people. Where you are sitting now is where you will be sitting at our continuation of this concert. Please file out in an orderly manner. Thank you for your cooperation and again, we are very, very sorry for your inconvenience." Ryu came to the rescue. I shot him a grateful look as I pulled Tai up and, Takeru following us, strode out. A limo screeched up to us and our driver pulled open the door.

"To the Odaiba hospital, and step on it!" I ordered. He gave a quick nod and the tires squealed as he gunned the engine.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Tai cried into his hands, "they can't die. They just can't. Oh God." I rubbed his back with my hand and he leaned toward me. "They can't leave me." Then he fell silent save for an occasional hiccup.

At the hospital, we raced in. Tai's eyes were wild, tears were leaking down his face in little rivulets and he was still trembling. He looked like he was high on drugs and hallucinating.

"Where're my mother and sister?" He demanded of a poor, hassled nurse as she walked by with a tray of medicine. She shook her head and trotted away, looking over her shoulder to make sure that he didn't follow her. He stumbled toward the information desk. "Where're my mother and sister? They were brought here from that women's conference. Someone shot them. Where are they?" The man at the desk looked at him sympathetically.

"I'm sorry sir but they are currently in the OR. If you'll wait there," he gestured vaguely toward a set of double doors that led into a room with plush chairs and a television, "in the waiting room, we'll be sure to let you know of their condition at the earliest possible time." Tai nodded and stalked towards the waiting room. His movements were jerky but it was difficult to keep up with him. I just hoped, for his sake, that the two most important women in his life were going to be okay.

"Tai?" I murmured softly, not daring to speak any louder. "Tai?" he turned hollow eyes on me, open but unseeing and my heart skipped a beat. There had been only few times where I had seen him break down like this. He was my opposite; while I kept all my negative feelings bottled up inside or took them out on others by being sarcastic and biting, Tai turned his to action, positive action. He was a leader, always ready to take action, always knowing what to do and seeing him looking so lost and helpless was something new (and quite unpleasant) for me.

Not knowing what else to do, I motioned to the chairs and he dropped himself into the row with the best view of the double doors. I sat next to him and Takeru chose the overstuffed couch propped by the wall. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever when, in reality, was only a few hours. Takeru eventually nodded off but Tai and I just watched the double doors, hoping that someone would pass through. Waiting for news of his family's recovery… or news of their deaths.

A/N: gasp what's going to happen to Kari and Tai's mom! O.o until next time…


	19. Taichi

Disclaimer: you know the whole song and dance already, I hope. I'm not delusional so: Digimon does not, in any way, belong to me.

I knew I was scaring people. I knew that I must've looked like a mess. I knew that I was being rude and brash. But I didn't care. My mother and my baby sister were lying somewhere, fighting for their lives. They had to pull through. They had to. I sank down into an overstuffed couch and curled into a little ball, pulling my knees to my chest and tucking my head in them. I felt someone sit down next to me. I knew it was Yama. He didn't touch me, didn't say anything, and just let me be. I was grateful for that. I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

"Taichi Yagami?" A male voice called. My head jerked up. It was a man wearing hospital scrubs, thin rubber gloves and white tennis shoes. He approached me tentatively. "Taichi? I heard that you'd arrived and I just wanted to let you know that we are doing everything in our power to make sure that your mother and Kari make it." He spun around on his heel and jogged off. I stared at his retreating figure. He had better. They had better not mess this up. That was my family in there.

After five hours of waiting, five hours of straining towards the doors to see if a surgeon would walk through them with news of my family, after five hours of torture my eyes were itching and bloodshot.

"Tai, sweetie?" Soft hands touched my arm. "Tai, it's 1 in the morning. You should get some sleep." The hands moved along my back, wrapping around me, pulling me closer. "Sleep. You'll make yourself sick." I sank against the warm body next to me, my eyes still on the door. "Come on, Tai. Please. Sleep." They rubbed my back and I could hear him humming softly, a lullaby, like I was a stubborn child but I appreciated the effort. I closed my tired eyes and tried. I really tried to sleep but my brain kept running towards the day that I'd first met Kari. I had been so scared; my little brain just could not comprehend why my mother was in so much pain. She had been reading to me when all of a sudden, she gave a little gasp, dropped the book, and curled into a tight ball, moaning. I screamed, thinking that she was going to die and my aunt had come running. Mom was taken to the hospital, the very hospital in fact where I was, and we were separated. My aunt tried to explain it to me as best as she could but I was hysterical. Finally, a man had approached her and whispered something in her ear. A wide smile spread on her face and she leaned in to me.

_Flashback_

_"Mommy?" I was led, wide-eyed, into a room. My mother was sitting on a bed wearing a hospital gown. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and loose hairs stuck to her sweaty face. She was leaning against the headboard, pillows supporting her back and in her arms lay a little bundle of blankets. I walked toward her. She looked up, a joyful smile brightening up her already pretty face._

_"Hey baby," she said softly. I climbed up into the bed despite protestations of the doctors. "You have a new baby sister. Look." She showed the bundle to me and I could see a little face. Her eyes were closed and she was making little murmurs in her sleep._

_"Oohh." I breathed and reached toward her. I wanted to touch her pudgy little face._

_"Now, Tai, honey, you have to be gentle." My mother's voice got anxious suddenly but I knew what I was doing. My hand stroked the soft cheek of this new little person and I fell in love._

_"Hi. My name's Tai." I whispered and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm your big brother and I promise I'll take care of you forever and ever and ever." My mother's smile and her face, tired but happy nonetheless beamed at me. I beamed right back and she wrapped her arm around me. I placed a gentle hand on the warm, moving baby and I knew the happiness I felt at that moment couldn't be matched._

_End Flashback._

"Yama, I need them. They have to be okay. They have to be alright." I could hardly speak. It was too hard to envision life without my mother, without my sister. I had promised to take care of her. Sure we fought quite often but underneath the bickering, we had formed a special bond that ran deeper than just being family. Kari was my friend and although I did take her for granted sometimes, calling her an annoying little brat, I still loved her. She knew that. Mom was always so proud that we could talk to each other like civilized human beings, despite our age differences. She always told us she was glad she didn't always have to play referee for us, that we could solve our problems with each other by ourselves. I couldn't live without that, the mundane, day-to-day things that we did, seeing my mom smile however wearily at us when she came home, fighting over the remote. It was too hard to think about so I stopped.

"I know. I know." He tightened his grip on me and resumed his rubbing. "I know. I hope they're okay. Someone should be along to let us know, any minute now." I lay my head in his lap, curled in the fetal position, but never lost sight of the doors. He threw his jacket over me and together, we kept up our vigil. Takeru had fallen asleep long ago. Stretched across a couch by himself, his head rested against the arm and he'd wrapped himself in his jacket.

Just then, the man who'd come to see us five and a half hours ago burst through the doors. I jerked up and grabbed Yama's hand in mine. He squeezed it reassuringly. He glanced around the room and spotting us, walked over.

"Mr. Yagami, I'm happy to say that your sister is stable. She is being moved into a residential room at this very moment and should be awake by tomorrow evening." He paused there and I leaned in, waiting to hear about my mother.

"My mother. How is my mother doing?" I pressed when he didn't say anything. A sorrowful look crossed his face and he dropped his eyes, focusing his gaze on my chin instead. He fidgeted with his hands and then took a deep breath.

"However, we did all we could for your mother but she was beyond our help. I'm sorry but your mother is dead." My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt like a thousand knives were piercing it. "I'm sorry." He said sounding sincerely sympathetic. "You may see your sister now, if you would like. She's in room B234, on the third floor and to your left. I am truly sorry about your mother." He walked away, the tap tap squeak of his sneakers echoing through my stunned brain.

I was too shocked to make a sound; my throat had stopped working. The woman who had brought me into this world, the woman who had worked so hard to keep a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table was dead. My mother wad dead. She was gone. She couldn't be gone. She couldn't. I NEEDED her. I needed my mommy. She was always supposed to be there, always supposed to soothe away the pain, or hold me when I had a nightmare.

"Tai?" I turned to Yama. He was watching me with mournful eyes that betrayed his pain. A tiny pang went through my heart and a small, unaffected part of my mind told me once again how lucky I was to have him with me, have him love me.

He opened his arms and a wail, a loud, piercing wail, tore from the pit of my stomach and I stumbled into them and held him. I cried out my need for my mother, cried out my sorrow that she was gone, screamed revenge on the bastard who'd done this to her, to me, to Kari. I sobbed as the full weight of what had happened fell on me. Howled in grief as the realization hit me: mom was dead. I was beyond caring that I was eighteen and bawling like a five-year old. I didn't care that I was sniveling all over Yama's shirt. He held me, one hand on my back, the other on my head, pressing my face into his chest as he rocked me. I clutched the fabric of his shirt, overstretching it but he didn't care. He only held me tighter as I searched for comfort in the warmth his arms presented to me.

"I'm so sorry, Tai. I'm so sorry." He kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could've done something." I barely heard him but his words brought comfort to me. Then a drop of liquid fell on my face and I looked up. He was crying too. The thought that he was sharing in my pain only caused me to cry harder. But as he held me, rocked me, cried with me, our tears mingling together, I could feel him, bit by bit, taking my grief upon his shoulders, helping me bear the burden I thought I would crumble under.

"Come on. I have to see Kari." I pushed away from him but he held tight. I had stayed in the same position for five and a half hours and I was stumbling around like a drunken man. Not to mention I had no idea where I was going and I had only vague thoughts as to what I was actually doing.

"Here, I'll help you." He supported me when we started walking and I welcomed the help. He leaned down and whispered into Takeru's ear, "Hey, little bro. I'll be right back. Stay here, okay?" Takeru rolled in his sleep and mumbled something incomprehensible.

We entered the elevator and Yama pressed the third floor button. When the doors slid open he led me to room B234 and pushed open the door. Kari was lying on her back, hooked up to machines that monitored her breathing and heartbeats and did all sorts of other things. She was bandaged pretty heavily and her eyes were closed. She looked to be sleeping peacefully but she was too pale; her rosy cheeks the color of sour milk, the usual cheery expression that adorned her face had given way to a somber one. He dropped me gently into the chair next to her bed and took one for himself. He took my hand and I placed my other hand on top of hers.

"Kar? I'm not sure if you can hear me but I'm going to tell you anyways. Mom's- mom's dead. She died. I'm so sorry, Kar. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to help you or her. I love you. I know that I could never replace mom but I'll do my best to do what she did. I'll try hard. We'll be a family. Me, you, and Yama. A family. We'll be a family and Yama and I'll take care of you. We'll help you with your homework and make sure that you can buy the latest fashions but most importantly, we'll be there for you if you need us. We'll all be there for each other. I promise. I love you and Yama loves you and Mom loves you. She's still watching over us. I know she is. We love you, Kar. Get better soon. I'm sor-" My voice broke and I could say no more.

A/N: sniffles poor Tai. I feel horrible for him. Unfortunately, it had to be done… like when J.K. Rowling killed off Sirius. howls he was my favorite character and he died! SO UNFAIR! But seriously, she has her reasons, eh? Just like me... Ummm, next chapter SHOULD be up really, really soon barring complete and utter disaster which has a slim to none chance of happening since my life is _so _tragically uneventful.


	20. Yamato

Disclaimer: I am quite happy doing this for no money at all. Digimon does not belong to me.

I watched helplessly when the doctor told Tai his mother was dead. I watched as Tai stared at him in shock. He turned to me and I ached for him. No one should have to hear that their mother was murdered by a madman. I opened my arms to him and he received my hug. I rubbed his back as he wept and I shared in his pain. I so wanted to take it away from him. I hated seeing him hurting like this. I shared in his pain and cried with him. He was surprised that I would do that but he needn't have been. I rocked him and murmured things into his ear, doing the best that I could. I helped him to Kari's room where he talked to her, reassured her that everything would be okay when he was really the one that needed comforting. When he could talk no longer, he crawled into my lap, sitting sideways, and buried his face in my neck. I held him and eventually, he cried himself to sleep and I joined him in slumber.

The next morning, Takeru popped his head in and sat down in Tai's former seat. Tai was still asleep in my lap. Takeru watched Kari intently, holding her hand. She stirred then and opened her eyes blearily.

"Takeru? Yamato? Tai?" She murmured, her voice hoarse. Tai immediately awoke and turned to her. "Tai? How's mom? All I remember is screaming and then was so much blood and the last thing I remember is pain and then everything went black. Is she okay?"

"Kari, Mom died early this morning." My heart wept when I heard the deadness in his voice. He was trying to control his emotions. Kari made a small noise in the back of her throat and tears started running down her face. She did not scream or make a scene but this was equally heart wrenching. Kari was someone who always tried to make everyone around her feel better even if it meant leaving her own wounds untended. She cared about anyone and everyone selflessly and always had a cheerful smile or a kind word for those who needed it.

"What'll happen to us?" she asked, her voice cracking. She swallowed and Tai handed her a glass of water which she took gratefully.

"I dunno," he answered truthfully. "But Kari, we'll take care of you. Yama and I. We're old enough and pretty soon, we'll be graduating. I'll get a job so you can go to school and we'll be a family. I promise." Kari nodded silently but her eyes flickered to me, obviously wondering if her older brother had actually discussed it with me before promising her.

"Can I be alone? Please?" she whispered and we respected her wishes, closing the door behind us. Takeru stayed behind; she'd asked him. Tai peeked through the small window on the door and we watched her cry into Takeru's chest. He held her just as I'd held Tai and did his best to comfort her. I gripped Tai's waist and pressed him close to me. He rested his head against my shoulder.

"Tai-" I began when he didn't say anything. He looked like he really needed to say something, the storm in his eyes told me, but he wasn't opening up. I could feel the smallest of tremors pass through his body when I spoke.

"Look, Yama. What I said back there, to Kari. I really mean it. I'll get a job to support her but if you don't want to-" he stopped talking when I put two fingers to his lips.

"Shh. You forget that I happen to be in a world famous band. I've got enough to support all of us without us having to work. Well, except me. I'll still have gigs and concerts and things like that but it'll be fun. Especially with you by my side." I grinned cheekily at him, trying to coax a smile out of him. He only looked away. "I'm really sorry about your mother, Tai. She loves you and Kari with all of her heart and she's still watching you. And I'm here. I'll be by your side whether you like it or not. I won't leave you just yet. I just wish I could have done something to help." I kissed him where my fingers had been just moments before and he smiled sadly against my lips.

"But Yama, you already have." He pulled away and ran his fingers through his unruly brown hair. "I suppose we'll have to get the funeral arrangements done and everything. We'll cremate her and spread her ashes in the ocean. I think she'll like that. She's always had a special affinity for the ocean."

_Flashback_

_"Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet?" An innocent question posed by an innocent child. Mrs. Yagami smiled down at Kari who had crawled into her lap._

_"Well sweetie, I was at the beach with my mommy and daddy. They wanted to be alone so they told me to go play. I was running down the beach, not watching where I was going, when I bumped into a handsome man. He laughed and caught me before I fell. You know who he was?"_

_"Daddy!" Kari giggled, already knowing the answer after having heard the story millions of times before. She clapped her hands in delight._

_"That's right! It was your Daddy." The woman got a wistful look in her eyes and she spoke, "I looked deep into his eyes and I just knew that I was going to marry him. I was going to marry this man with his beautiful dark eyes and messy brown hair. It was love at first sight." She sighed and then smiled. "You know what happened next?" she asked, laughter ringing in each syllable._

_"What?" Kari asked, awaiting her favorite part._

_"We kissed! Right there on the beach, we kissed! Oh it was so romantic." _

_"Yuck. I will never kiss a girl!" Tai crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. He had been watching his mother and sister and was listening to the story as well._

_"Someday you will." His mother beamed at him. "Just you wait. Someday you'll know what it's like to fall in love."_

_End Flashback_

"I just can't believe she's dead." Tai's shoulder's sagged after he recounted the story to me. "I miss her so much."

"I know, Tai, I know." I rubbed his back, relieving the tension in his muscles as he leaned into me, my back pressed against a wall, his face on my neck, hands on my waist, one of my legs between his, trying to get as close to each other as possible without romantic intimacy. It was almost soothing, the world melted away and everything was silent, just us, just the sound of our breathing and the simultaneous beating of our hearts.

The funeral ceremony, in which we respected his mother's unspoken wishes, was quiet and small. Only four people were in attendance: Tai, myself, Takeru, and Kari. For the location, Tai had chosen a cliff that dropped directly into the ocean. Angry waves rushed at the stone flinging white foam as it broke into the stone. It was beautiful and wild at once. Takeru and I backed off and allowed the two of them a bit of private time as they said a final goodbye to their beloved mother. They turned back to us and nodded so we approached them once more. I wrapped one arm around Tai's waist and Takeru stood completely behind Kari, his hands resting on her belly, her hands clutching his. Tai closed his eyes, opened the beautiful urn that we had bought for this specific purpose and emptied the contents into the beautiful, wild, dangerous, calming sea below.

As we watched her remains float down into the water, it was strangely—peaceful. No one said a word, just watched with quiet reverence. I snuck a glance at Tai and he was watching the wind and the ashes with a look of calm finality. He was still sad, you could see it in his eyes, but it was as if he'd realized that there was nothing to do now but see to it that he remembered his mother, remembered all that she had taught him and carry on her memory. When it had all disappeared, he turned from the sight and squared his shoulders, wiping any stray tears from his face as he did so.

Later that night, we made love as if it was the only thing keeping us alive. It was frenzied and full of unbridled emotions, both good and bad, but it was still amazing. Afterwards, we collapsed in a heap of steamy limbs. I ran my fingers through Tai's sweaty hair and he lay his head on my chest, as he always did, and we closed our eyes, entangled in each other's arms.

"I love you." Tai murmured sleepily. "I love you."

"I love you more." I whispered back and he sighed happily, snuggling closer to me and I knew this was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

A/N: Told you I would get this one up soon. Next chapter should be posted a week (?) or less. Hopefully less. I am _so _behind on homework it's not even funny. O.o shit. And my mom's threatening to ban me AND to top it all off, volleyball tryouts are starting. So I will probably update a lot slower. Of course, this story's pretty much finished. I'm just figuring out how to wind it down in a way that satisfies me. Well that's it for now... but of course, review review review!


	21. Taichi

Disclaimer: I'm not making any money off this but you know that by know, right?

A/N: Well, I suppose this is quite useless now but still… **this chapter contains implied sexual situations between men. If this bothers you, please leave now.** I know, I know, those of you have actually gotten to this chapter would know what goes on between those two behind closed doors… but I felt like writing it for some reason.

_Flashback_

_"Wake up, Taichi!" Laughter filled the air and I cracked open an eye._

_"Mo-o-om!" I whined, unhappy with her for waking me up so early._

_"Oh, come on, Taichi. Be a sport." And she tugged at my arm, pulling me from those nice warm covers. I grumbled loudly but she giggled. "Come on, Taichi." And I went with her, muttering under my breath and rubbing my half-opened eyes. She got behind me and covered them, leading me to the kitchen. "No peeking." She ordered and I stood with my eyes closed. "Okay, now." When I opened them, the first thing I saw was a stack of waffles covered with whipped cream and strawberries. Poking through the elaborate fluffy white designs were candles, lit and sparkling. Surrounding the 'cake' were dishes laden with every food imaginable. "SURPRISE!!!" She and Kari shrieked and then they threw sparkly confetti at me, laughing uproariously at my stunned reaction._

_Looking back on it, I shouldn't have been so surprised. She was always doing things like that, surprising me with her creativity. One year, it was a trip to __London__ which she didn't tell me about until the day of departure. Another year, she 'kidnapped' me in the middle of class and took me wherever my little nine-year old heart desired. That year I had turned eight and after finishing all the food, she drove me around and let me skip school._

_"Thanks Mom," I yawned, late that night as we were driving home. "I had fun today." I was too tired to walk up the stairs to our apartment so she carried me and after tucking me in, kissed my forehead._

_"Happy Birthday, Taichi. I love you."_

_End Flashback_

Warm, soft lips pressed against my forehead and firm hands shook my shoulders, bringing me from sleep. I opened my eyes and was greeted with somber blue ones. They were framed with thick, dark golden lashes and burned with intensity.

"How are you?" A simple question but one that was so hard to answer. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to speak and already I could feel the now-familiar burning in my eyes.

"I'll be—fine." I whispered chokingly, trying to reassure those beautiful ocean blue eyes but they looked unconvinced. Pale skin and thin hands, pink lips and hot breath, mint and something indescribable but intoxicating. I could feel myself shaking as I tried to hold it in. I couldn't burden this man, the one to whom I so desperately clung, with my troubles. I wouldn't allow him to take my hurt upon his already-heavy shoulders.

"Tai, it's okay, you know. If you cry. It's okay to let it out." Words whispered into my hair and chaste kisses pressed on my forehead. "Let it out." And before I knew it, the dam broke and I couldn't do anything but let the tears flow free. Small circles were rubbed into my back as comforts were breathed into my ear. I clung to him and sobbed until I could sob no more. I lay there, clutching the shoulders of my lover, gathering my bearings, waiting until my breathing slowed and I was no longer hiccupping. He stayed entirely still save for his hands as they massaged my muscles. I was immensely grateful that he was here with me, that he could so understand my pain. He stayed with me and remained beside me until I was ready.

I dressed in a light blue shirt and dark blue jeans. My mother loved seeing me in blue, especially this shirt. I hated it because of the collar and the cuffed long sleeves but she always forced me to wear it on special occasions. She said it brought out the beautiful tan I got playing soccer and Yama agreed.

"Thank you." I said to him, watching him in the mirror. He smiled sadly and nodded, brushing golden silk out of his eyes.

"Tai, don't thank me." he admonished, appearing suddenly behind me. "You'd have done the same for me. And you already have. What kind of person would I be if I wasn't there for you? I love you, Yagami Taichi and nothing you do or say will ever change that." We walked out and met Kari who was dressed in a light pink dress made of some floaty, thin material. The drive was quiet, each person thinking about what would come. Yama drove and I sat beside him, in my lap an urn, precious for its contents. Kari and Takeru were in the back, joined by their linked hands, exchanging meaningful glances that only they could understand.

It was warm when Yama parked the car and we stepped out. The sun was burning bright but there was a cool sea breeze that ran fingers through Yama's hair, caressing the softness and lifting the golden strands as the breeze passed. We trekked to a quiet, secluded spot, far from anyone and came to the edge of a cliff looking down into the ocean. Kari stood beside me and we bowed our heads.

"Hey mom, it's me, Kari. I just wanted to tell you that Takeru and I, well, he asked me formally to be his girlfriend. How cool is that? I love you, mom and I want you to know that I feel like the luckiest person alive that you were my mother. I know we fought and sometimes, I thought you were annoying but I still loved you and I always will. I just hope that I'll be able to be half the person you were. I will remember you always. Goodbye, mom, I miss you."

"Mom? C'est moi, Tai (1). You were an awesome mother and I will always be grateful to you for putting up with me. I know I wasn't the easiest person to take care of, especially with my knack for getting hurt, but you always had a smile, however exasperated or frustrated you were. I love you, mom, and I want to thank you for being so understanding of me and Yama. It's gotta be hard, hearing that your kid is in love with another boy but you embraced it. Thanks. I'll see you someday but I guess it's goodbye until then, huh? I love you forever and always."

Our farewells said we turned to the two brothers waiting a little distance away. They approached us and I upended the urn into the ocean. We watched her ashes float down into the water. It was hard saying goodbye to the woman you thought would never leave you but I was suddenly struck with the thought that she had never truly left. She was still a major part of my life, still the person who brought me into this world. I had my memories of her, of her smile, and the way her whole face lit up whenever she laughed. I would remember her always and by honoring her memory, by retaining my life with her, I was ensuring her presence in my life. She wouldn't be solid but she would be there even so. This thought was comforting to me, like a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I turned away then, ready now to face whatever would happen next. Kari and Takeru decided that they wanted to have some time alone so Yama and I went home.

"Shit," I cursed, walking in through the door and turning on the lights.

"What's wrong?" Yama asked, tightening his grip on my hand.

"Nothing. It's just that I don't think I can live here anymore. Not without Mom. I don't know how to explain it but it's just not the same. For so long, almost all my life, I've associated this place with my mother and now she's not here anymore—it just doesn't feel right somehow."

"I know what you mean." Butterfly kisses along my jaw as I was pressed against the wall. "What's say you and Kari and I go house-shopping tomorrow?" I nodded, unable to say anything. His hand trailed downward and soon afterward, all thought passed and I was lost in a haze of pleasure and love.

Afterward, we were lying together, legs entwined. It was too hot under the blankets and I was having trouble catching my breath but it felt too good, wrapped up together with him, his hands lazily playing with my hair. He loved doing that, just stroking the wild mop that resided on the top of my head, as if I was a cat. I wasn't complaining, it sent shivers up and down my spine when he did that, don't ask me why, but in a good way.

"I love you." I said, then repeated myself just to emphasize my point, "I love you."

"I love you more." He countered, shifting underneath me so his head was no longer resting against the headboard but rather on the pillow. My lips curled upwards and I allowed myself to drift slowly into sleep. He was my best friend, my lover, my whole world. He was mine now and with him by my side, I knew I could face whatever life and fate had to throw at me. He would be there for me and I would there for him, now and for always.

THE END

A/N: IT'S FINISHED!!!! Yay! Epilogue still up-and-coming though and it's writing itself really easily. I'm hoping it'll be up by the start of school… which is in three days. Can't make any promises though… Oh, and I was victim to a plot bunny and am starting another fiction but I dunno how soon I'll be able to post it… but watch out for it!

(1): It's me, Tai. (Note: My French is far from perfect. If that was bad grammar or whatever, I apologize)


	22. Yamato

Disclaimer: see previous 21 chapters…

A/N: For this past week, I have gotten an average of three hours of sleep a night. Why would you want to know that? I dunno but I just felt like stating that random fact.

"I like this house, Tai." I insisted. "Come on, it's perfect for the three of us and it's spacious but it's cozy too AND there's enough room for a few extra guests should we choose to invite any to stay over. The view from here is gorgeous and the pool and backyard is heavenly. Come on," I whined, as I tugged at his arm like a precocious toddler. He smiled faintly at me, like a parent would when their nerves are just about to snap.

"I dunno about this, Yama. I like it too but-"

"But what? There's no but's needed." I crossed my arms, surveying his indecision. The two-story house was beautiful. It was set near the ocean, on a cliff but the cliff was a little ways away, about a ten-minute hike. There was a tropical pool with a waterfall and trees surrounding it and beside the pool was a Jacuzzi. There was plenty of space in the backyard and beautiful trees outlined the whole thing. It was secluded and private but a fifteen-minute drive down brought us into the outskirts of Odaiba and it was another five-minute drive to Kari's school. It was perfect.

"It's just that- what if it's too expensive? I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up just to find out that we can't afford it." He bit his lip and looked away. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently.

"Hello, Tai? Newsflash: I have loads of money. Therefore, it is not an issue. Is that the only thing bothering you?" He nodded, still not looking me in the eye. "So it's just the money?"

"Yeah. I just feel inadequate that you can pay for all this and I can't." I was a bit hurt that he would suggest that I cared about his financial state or any other material things he might have been lacking. I didn't love him for his clothes or the expensive things he could get me but for the warmth I felt inside whenever I was with him. He made me whole, in a physical sense as well as mentally and emotionally. He sensed when I wanted to be alone or when I needed a hug and some attention. Tai was my best friend and even as best friends, we were always so _close_. I loved him so much that it ached and it didn't matter if he was the richest man alive or the poorest bastard living. The money he had in the bank could not define the person he was inside.

"Quit being such a baka, Tai. I don't care. Money is not an issue. I love you for you, not the amount of money you have. I don't care if you can afford one thing or can't afford the other. Besides, I kind of like being able to take care of you. It's like I'm saying thank you for helping me in my time of need. For caring enough to risk your well-being for mine. I could never repay you for that and the least I could do is give you all the love that I have inside of me."

"If you like it so much then I guess we could buy it." He smiled. "Wait until Kari hears about this. She'll love it." And he was right. Kari loved it and as soon as the deal was made, we packed up our things in his apartment and moved into our new home. Kari had a wonderful time fixing up her new room and we must have spent over two thousand dollars on the furniture and accessories that she required. She apologized one time to me, while we were shopping for a bed for her. There was one that she had fallen in love with and she ran over to it. She walked around, tracing her fingers on the intricate designs carved into the beautiful dark wood that made up the bed frame.

"Go ahead, try it," I urged and she flopped on, sinking slowly into the pile of down blankets.

"Oh my god, I just love it!" she sighed, allowing her head to rest on one of the pillows. I laughed and told her this would be her new bed from now on, was she sure? Then her eye caught sight of the price tag and she leapt off, blushing furiously. "It's so expensive. 800 for the frame alone?! And the mattress and everything else would cost at least 200. Oh Yama, I can't ask you for that."

"Hey, I spent three thousand dollars on a brand new amp last week. I think I can spare a thousand for your bed. It would be an honor, Miss Kari, if you would accept it." Her eyes brightened and she threw her arms around me.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." She said, over and over again. My pockets were considerably lighter by the time we were finished decorating her room but the smile on her face was more than worth it.

About three months after we moved in, Kari invited her friends over to check out her new place and they'd taken three large pizzas and enough soda to flood Odaiba into her new room and stayed there, chatting and laughing and doing the things that girls do best. Tai and I were snuggled together on the couch, in front of our fireplace and he was studying the dancing flames intensely. I brushed a lock of his hair out of his face and asked playfully,

"What's the matter, beautiful?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking how lucky I am to be here with you." We shared a kiss and then I pulled away.

"Hold on a sec." I said and ran up the stairs to our bedroom (which had French doors and a sunroom that overlooked the ocean) and brought back a box. "Open it." He gave me a strange look then glanced at the box warily as though it might contain a poisonous snake that would bite him the moment he opened it.

"It's not my birthday, Yama. Why'd you get me a present?" he asked, casting suspicious looks at both me and my present.

"Just open it." I smacked him lightly on the head. He could do things without thinking and make stupid, rash decisions and then hesitate at the times when rash decisions needed to be made. It irritated me sometimes but I suppose it was just another one of those qualities I found endearing. How he could always push my buttons and the happiness he derived from riling me up. He was my lover and my enemy rolled into one and sometimes, I asked kami-sama what I had gotten myself into. We joked often that we would grow old together and live happily ever after or we would end up killing one another. Then Kari would pop in and add a bet that I would kill Tai first and could I do her a favor and make it a clean murder? It was on those days when I really felt like a family. Albeit, a rather strange family with a mosaic of different people but a real and true family nonetheless.

He opened it and pulled out a smaller box. When he opened that, he came to a velvet box. His eyes widened and I took it from him, getting down on one knee, before he could say a word. "Tai, I love you with every ounce of my being and I know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You were there for me at a time when no one knew what was wrong. I pushed you away but you stayed, glued to my side. I give this to you," I opened the box, took out the ring and grabbed his hand, "today and ask you," I slipped it on his finger, "to be my partner. For always." His mouth hung open as he stared at the ring.

"I-I-of course." He said hoarsely and I threw myself at him with unbridled glee. He was mine forever. He was mine and no one could take him from me. He was mine. The look in his eyes said it all to me. "Haha, Yamato Ishida. Now no fan girl of yours can steal you from me. You're mine." He purred into my ear.

We snuggled on the couch again, I was halfway in his lap and his head was under my chin. Right before I fell asleep, I looked into his half-closed eyes and he looked right back and I was overcome with the urge to cry, not out of sadness but from the pure joy I was experiencing. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think that I would end up with the love of my life. I never thought that I could love someone so much and that they could return that love equally. I never thought I could make someone so happy and that anyone could make me so joyful. But my dreams came true and now, I was ready to settle into happily ever after. So I did, snuggling into my lover's arms and allowed my eyes to droop shut and he did the same. As we slept peacefully in each other's arms, I knew we were already in our paradise. Forever and always.

A/N: sniffles. Wow. I can't believe it's finally over. I don't think I'll do a sequel to this but I WILL write another fiction… like I said, plot bunnies are brutal things. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

P.S. this has been a really long time coming since I kind of forgot about it. I had it written and it has been sitting on my hard drive collecting dust but life has been MURDER lately so I haven't been able to post it. D Until next time… I shall see you soon.


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